Chart Tool for Child's Whining

Whining is the current "issue" we are dealing with in our almost 4 year old's heart.  I find it tricky to address as it isn't a "defiant sin" with a clear commandment and clear disobedience, but certainly tempts me to sin in my anger (Eph. 4:26) with the annoyance of it!  (Not to mention that it is doing his heart no favors to linger in whining). This chart was inspired from the "Anger Chart"...taking the biblical concept and applying it in a way that trains our children what to put off and put on when faced with temptation (1 Cor. 10:13, Eph. 4:22-24).  The other charts have seemed to be fruitful tools and I pray this one is for our family as well (and maybe yours!)  As I'm even typing this I'm recognizing that the root of whining is often an issue of selfishness and discontentment (not getting "my way" and not thankful for what you do have).  It's always good and helpful to keep the root of sin in the forefront when pruning it.

WHINING

Whining is: Speaking in a tone that is not honoring to God or others.

 “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

 O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”  ~Psalms 19:14

God has given you the ability to speak words so they can be life-giving, beneficial, and persuasive.

We are called to: “Do everything without complaining or arguing” ~Philippians 2:14

When you are tempted to whine:

Put off:                                                                                              Put On:

Draining Words                                               Life-giving Words

“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.” ~Proverbs 10:11

Destructive Words                                         Beneficial Words

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” ~Ephesians 4:29

Deterring Wording                                         Persuading Words

“The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” ~Proverbs 16:21

(c) 2011 LORDLETMELEARN.BLOGSPOT.COM

Chart Tool for Child's Sharing

As most three year olds do, our son was really struggling with sharing.  The anger chart gave me the idea to make something similar for sharing.  We have found it helpful to have some Biblical reasoning to articulate the constant instruction to "Share!" The following is a sample of our chart:

The Blessing of Sharing

Sharing is: Blessing others with something I have

• NOT to share is:Greedy, Rude, and Selfish
•  TO share is:Generous, Kind, and Looking out for others’ best interests

Ø God shares with me

Ø Mommy and Daddy share with me

Ø I like it when others share with me

Even when it is hard it is good to bless others by sharing

Chart tool for Child's Anger

This chart idea was inspired by a friend of mine.  It helps give a visual (she has pictures drawn on hers for her pre-schooler) to train your child in how to put off sin and put on righteousness.  

Ginger Plowman teaches in her book "Don't Make Me Count To Three" that training your child in what he/she can do, rather than just giving them the instruction of what they can't do helps apply 1 Corinthians 10:13 by providing a way out in temptation.  (Knowing what TO DO when tempted to sin in anger).

Our chart looks like this:

"In your anger do not sin..."

Ephesians 4:26a (NIV)

WHEN I AM ANGRY:

I may NOT:

v Yell                                                

v Throw

v Fight (Hit or Kick)

v Force (Push or Pull)

   I MAY:

•  Pray (for a right heart attitude)
•  Play  (with something else)
•  Read (until I calm down)
•  Communicate (in a respectful voice)

Strength of a Stallion

I heard a blurb on the radio that really stuck with me.  It was about:

GENTLENESS.

What was profound to me was that the speaker said that Gentleness is not weakness but strength.

He used the illustration of a stallion.  He said that the strength of a stallion under control can produce and beautiful, gentle animal, but unrestrained that strength is just dangerous.

He paralleled that to gentleness by saying that gentleness is strength under control.  But that same strength (of conviction, etc.) unrestrained can produce the dangerous harshness of words, attitudes, and actions.  His context was the defense of your hope in 1 Peter 3: 15,16 being shared with gentleness and respect.  But I think we can apply that gentleness, that strength under control in an abundance of circumstances.  I know my strong feelings on something too often come out in unrestrained harsh, disrespectful, hurtful words instead of the influential words of strength under control expressed through gentleness.

May our words, attitudes, and actions be expressed gently and be as captivating as a beautiful, strong stallion!

Cravings

I fasted last Sunday.


First time in years.


I've never been in a regular routine of fasting, but wonder what would happen in the Christian heart if it was a regular practice...a practice not to be following a ritual or earning favor with God, but practicing submitting our thoughts and attitudes our desires and cravings to Christ alone.  For each tummy rumble, for each craving for physical fulfillment, a reminder of how our flesh wages war...as John Piper says, "This much, O God, I want you."  I want to be filled up and satisfied by YHWH Himself more than I even want food!


Fasting: to abstain from something in order to gain something


I have fasted many times over the years.  Mostly for Lent, though unfortunately, I didn't quite understand and thus apply the "praying" aspect of fast so much in those times and my motives weren't so much to appreciate the suffering of my risen Savior more during that Lenten season.  But nonetheless the discipline of intentionally, purposefully, controlling my desires consistently for an extended period of time, has proven fruitful.


1996: abstained from soda for Lent -- motive was more for the health benefit in my swimming, but I am rarely even interested in having a soda now.
1997-98: some combination of sweets, cookies, ice cream, chocolate given up for Lent -- well, I guess those are some more deeply rooted fleshly desires - can't say those Lent sacrifices have had lasting effects:)
1999: abstained from chewing gum for Lent -- broken habit now.


Early 2000's I started learning more about the power of fasting for the purpose of "putting off" that which was hindering me from intimacy with Christ, that which was distracting me from "setting my mind on things above, not earthly things" and "putting on" praying for that undivided heart.  John Piper has a book, "Hunger for God" which is a powerful motivator to Holy Spirit-centered fasting.


And as I was sensitive to that which was hindering my intimacy with Christ, I realized they were in fact idols in my life:
~ distracted by thoughts of a man I was attracted to (prior to marriage)--fasting from those distracting thoughts looked like not allowing them to linger at all; as soon as the thought came I was disciplining myself to surrender it to Christ and re-focus on Him as my Lover...we can/should do this with all sorts of thoughts!
~ pre-occupied by my appearance--fasting looked like wearing t-shirt and jeans and no make-up for two weeks...the heightened sacrifice of this could be explained in saying that it was the beginning of a school year and I was just starting a new role as campus minister to the Greek entity of our college ministry.  Yes, Greek as in usually pretty influenced by and making quick judgments on people's outward appearances.  So, here I am fighting my vain tendencies to make a good first impression by what I wear and how I look to these college gals.  I wanted to "fit in" and be the "cool" staff women and for two weeks they only see me in t-shirt and jeans with no make-up.  I could have waited until my reputation was already established, but no, God called for the fasting then and obedience right then at the beginning of the school year was where it began.  That was a powerful lesson in what God values and make an impact on seeing things more as God does.
~ my snooze button -- I kept hitting it and thus wouldn't have time to spend in devotions with God before I left for work.  40 days - no snooze button...painful fasting..."this much, O God, I want you!"  More than sleep!
~ critical words - 40 days - no negative words, especially toward my husband -- Oh, how I wish those 40 days completely uprooted that ugly idol in my heart...why is my words being heard more important to me than having a tongue that honors Christ and honors the godly husband He united me with!?!


Last Sunday...nothing specific...my heart just recognized I needed more of God and less of me...the Holy Spirit brought fasting to mind and thus no food was the way for God to win my heart back to Himself.   I couldn't use the excuse of pregnancy or nursing, which I would have been able to much of the last 4 and a half years.  And so it was, a day of Hunger for God.  Craving more of Him.  


And the result this week?  Nothing dramatic.  There have been much distractions with company, but a sweet reminder in the times of feeling distant from my LORD..."That much, O God, I do want you that much!"


Abstaining in order to gain...no food, more of God --> God's economy.

Not JOY in spite of work, but in the midst of it

JOY.


I've been praying for it specifically since January 2010.  New year.  New year resolution: Peace and Joy.  January 2011.  New year. Same Resolution: Peace and Joy.  August 21, 2011.  Peace?  Joy?  Access...Peace, yes, most of the time.  Joy, no.  I've been seeking, striving, and sad.  


James: joy in trials.  1 Peter: joy in suffering.  1 Thessalonians: rejoice always.


I know this in my head, why don't I/can't I feel it in my heart!?!


I so often FEEL only the longing for what I KNOW to be true: The joy of my salvation, the joy of our hope in Christ, the calling: Be Joyful.


So, it was that Sunday afternoon in August as I sat with pen in hand to process with the LORD - when have I experienced joy, when and why did I lose it, how do I live it again?


Now for some of you theologians this may seem unorthodox, but at this stage of my maturity in Christ, this is my personal revelation.


I wrote out stages of my walk with Christ and accompanying emotions.  I read old journals and summarized themes I read.  And this was my conclusion:
At the point in which I "lost my joy" was an extremely busy, overwhelming, life-changing point in my life - new job, newly engaged, planning a wedding, and buying a house in 4 and a half months time; then trying to figure out how to live day in and day out with my sin rubbing against this other sinner (a.k.a. my husband) whom I have now "become one" with.  I got overwhelmed with LIFE, it sucked the life from me, and I have not recovered.


Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, LORD! (Psalm 51:12a)


Your Salvation.
Your Gospel.
Being in relationship with others in order to point them to Jesus. (Believer of Nonbeliever)


This is what matters.
This is what is life giving.


My conclusion:
~Life sucked the life out of me (and I have not recovered).
~Life is work, thus there needs to be joy IN work.
~Simplifying life makes room for joy (so life is not so overwhelming).
~Being in relationship with others in order to point them to Jesus is life-giving to me - this promotes joy!


This was revolutionary for me.  Thank you, LORD, for how you speak to your sheep (John 10:4).


I have learned and believe that the WORK in the Garden of Eden was a GIFT from God to man.  However, in the mundaneness of "homemaker" with the challenges of a husband with a chronic illness, I've struggled not to be dragged down and to truly live in joy.  I have looked for joy in spite of the mundaneness and the challenges.  Ah, but life IS work!  My work IS a gift! Being a wife to the man God brought me to and being a mother to the children God entrusted to me and all the other details are working out just as our Sovereign LORD wants them for my good and His glory.  The mundaneness and challenges that I have as a wife and mother are just what God wants for me to be sanctified as HIS Daughter reflecting the image of His SON!  And THAT is what I am to choose to be joyful about in the midst of it all...not in spite of it! 



Other recent connects that are promoting JOY for me in my new journey of joy:
http://www.aholyexperience.com (just poking around Ann Voskamp's website helps you slow down and focus on the joy and beauty in the mundane)
www.gitzengirl.blogspot.com (the blog "Choose Joy"  whose young author was homebound with a chronic illness that took her life - wow - her Christ-focused devotion to joy in the midst of such pain and suffering is inspiring!)  


Thank you, sisters in Christ!

Titus 3

3 "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,"


He saved us not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.


He is sanctifiying us not because of righteous things we do, but because of His mercy.


Because as Christians we are called to good works, I think it can be easy to be swayed into believing/ living as though those good works aid in our sanctification somehow...Er, earn more favor with God; earn jewels in our crown; something of this nature?


He could save us and leave us as we are.  He loved us this way first, He could continue loving us as we are.  Yet, it seems as though He desires sactification to be a demonstration of HIS power at work in our lives.   It's not so we can get better to be "more fit" for heaven, but it seems that it is more with HIM and HIS GLORY as the focal point.  Sanctification is not JUST for OUR sake - the benefits that come to us by living like Christ on earth, but more for HIS sake - bringing Him glory on earth as it is in heaven!  Hmmm...to LIVE in this reality!