If you don't know me personally, you have probably gathered from this blog that I am an intense person. Intense, intentional, serious (although I love to laugh, I am not the Fun Creator).
Lately, I have been spending Sunday afternoon - while my family naps - resting my soul with a good book, articulating and thus imprinting on my heart what God's been teaching me by posting on this blog, being refreshed and/or spiritually challenged through www.aholyexperience.com, or a combination of the above with maybe something else thrown in occasionally.
Sunday, February 19, 2012 I found myself plain worn out - physically, emotionally, spiritually...
It had been a long week and I was tired of it all -- tired of the pressure for progress with Grandpa moving in, tired of conflict with multiple loved ones, tired of the spiritual battle...
As I thought about my Sunday afternoon, my heart sank heavy - none of my usual activities sounded restful and rejuvenating...instead they felt heavy and I needed to be lightened. I didn't want to just go through the motions and I couldn't discern what would God would want me to do. Nothing sounded good except that Cheesecake Factory Brownie Cheesecake from Pancho Villa restaurant.
I went to hang my purse up and noticed the DVD in the pocket that a friend from church let me borrow to preview for DS...Cars 2. I do not like the idea of watching a movie on Sabbath -- an escape that numbs my mind and heart instead filling it with the Life-giving Truth of God and His Word, but...Cars 2 sounded good to this 31 year old mama on this heavy afternoon in February!
For some reason God gave me a peace (no guilt!) I would not have expected - a peace to drive 24 minutes round trip and spend $7 (including tip) on a slice of cheesecake! (those who know this Scottish thrift know that I normally don't have peace about that kind of "waste" of time & money) and the freedom to watch a purely entertaining film. It was a peace that said "This isn't emotional eating and this isn't an escape - this is the freedom I'm offering my beloved daughter because I love her."
And the even more pleasant surprise...I felt refreshed afterward! I know those things don't give life in and of themselves and so I was expecting to feel about the same when it was all said and done. (Which happened minutes before DD woke up from her nap and the call of motherhood rung again - thank you , LORD!) But in the LORD's faithfulness, He is the One who granted the freedom and He provided the refreshment. Cheesecake and a movie wouldn't be refreshing for me each Sunday, but when Guided by the Giver, there is even refreshment for "The Intense" in a quiet afternoon with dessert and Disney.
What a beautiful lesson, thank you, dear Father!
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