It dawned on me as I was early in the journey of hearing from God that there are different voices to discern. Well, actually this isn't new as 1 John 4:1 makes it clear that there are different spirits, some from God, some not and we are to test them. We are influenced by the quiet and loud, subtle and obvious voices of our past, our present, our enemies (spiritual and fleshly), our friends, our God, the media, the culture, inner, outer. The main voices I wanted to discern were the deception of the Enemy, the fickleness of myself, and the Truth of God.
And then I realized that there are times which I know it is the voice of God - Him illuminating His Word or a sweet God Whisper (GW) to my soul and other times I don't feel like it's of me (for it seems too spiritual, too selfless, too others focused), but I'm not confident it is the voice of God. Is it just a random "good" thought or is it truly goodbecause it is inspired by God and He wants me to do something with the thought? I think I've discerned those as Spirit Promptings (SP) in my life - prompting my heart, mind, & soul. Not quite the directness of the voice of God that I must be obedient to (in thought and action), but His influence I should pay attention to and follow through with...for good and glory. And then there are those thoughts which I want to grow and dwell on, to fill up my perspective so this is the way I see, so my life is more Christ-centered - shall I call them Christ-Focused (CF), Colossians 3 thoughts?
So, check out the "Random Thought" tab on the Home Page for some GWs and SPs and CFs which I may not have wanted to take the time to make a full blog post on, but thought it would be fun to collect them in one spot.
Showing posts with label God Guidance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God Guidance. Show all posts
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
To Refresh The Intense
If you don't know me personally, you have probably gathered from this blog that I am an intense person. Intense, intentional, serious (although I love to laugh, I am not the Fun Creator).
Lately, I have been spending Sunday afternoon - while my family naps - resting my soul with a good book, articulating and thus imprinting on my heart what God's been teaching me by posting on this blog, being refreshed and/or spiritually challenged through www.aholyexperience.com, or a combination of the above with maybe something else thrown in occasionally.
Sunday, February 19, 2012 I found myself plain worn out - physically, emotionally, spiritually...
It had been a long week and I was tired of it all -- tired of the pressure for progress with Grandpa moving in, tired of conflict with multiple loved ones, tired of the spiritual battle...
As I thought about my Sunday afternoon, my heart sank heavy - none of my usual activities sounded restful and rejuvenating...instead they felt heavy and I needed to be lightened. I didn't want to just go through the motions and I couldn't discern what would God would want me to do. Nothing sounded good except that Cheesecake Factory Brownie Cheesecake from Pancho Villa restaurant.
I went to hang my purse up and noticed the DVD in the pocket that a friend from church let me borrow to preview for DS...Cars 2. I do not like the idea of watching a movie on Sabbath -- an escape that numbs my mind and heart instead filling it with the Life-giving Truth of God and His Word, but...Cars 2 sounded good to this 31 year old mama on this heavy afternoon in February!
For some reason God gave me a peace (no guilt!) I would not have expected - a peace to drive 24 minutes round trip and spend $7 (including tip) on a slice of cheesecake! (those who know this Scottish thrift know that I normally don't have peace about that kind of "waste" of time & money) and the freedom to watch a purely entertaining film. It was a peace that said "This isn't emotional eating and this isn't an escape - this is the freedom I'm offering my beloved daughter because I love her."
And the even more pleasant surprise...I felt refreshed afterward! I know those things don't give life in and of themselves and so I was expecting to feel about the same when it was all said and done. (Which happened minutes before DD woke up from her nap and the call of motherhood rung again - thank you , LORD!) But in the LORD's faithfulness, He is the One who granted the freedom and He provided the refreshment. Cheesecake and a movie wouldn't be refreshing for me each Sunday, but when Guided by the Giver, there is even refreshment for "The Intense" in a quiet afternoon with dessert and Disney.
What a beautiful lesson, thank you, dear Father!
Lately, I have been spending Sunday afternoon - while my family naps - resting my soul with a good book, articulating and thus imprinting on my heart what God's been teaching me by posting on this blog, being refreshed and/or spiritually challenged through www.aholyexperience.com, or a combination of the above with maybe something else thrown in occasionally.
Sunday, February 19, 2012 I found myself plain worn out - physically, emotionally, spiritually...
It had been a long week and I was tired of it all -- tired of the pressure for progress with Grandpa moving in, tired of conflict with multiple loved ones, tired of the spiritual battle...
As I thought about my Sunday afternoon, my heart sank heavy - none of my usual activities sounded restful and rejuvenating...instead they felt heavy and I needed to be lightened. I didn't want to just go through the motions and I couldn't discern what would God would want me to do. Nothing sounded good except that Cheesecake Factory Brownie Cheesecake from Pancho Villa restaurant.
I went to hang my purse up and noticed the DVD in the pocket that a friend from church let me borrow to preview for DS...Cars 2. I do not like the idea of watching a movie on Sabbath -- an escape that numbs my mind and heart instead filling it with the Life-giving Truth of God and His Word, but...Cars 2 sounded good to this 31 year old mama on this heavy afternoon in February!
For some reason God gave me a peace (no guilt!) I would not have expected - a peace to drive 24 minutes round trip and spend $7 (including tip) on a slice of cheesecake! (those who know this Scottish thrift know that I normally don't have peace about that kind of "waste" of time & money) and the freedom to watch a purely entertaining film. It was a peace that said "This isn't emotional eating and this isn't an escape - this is the freedom I'm offering my beloved daughter because I love her."
And the even more pleasant surprise...I felt refreshed afterward! I know those things don't give life in and of themselves and so I was expecting to feel about the same when it was all said and done. (Which happened minutes before DD woke up from her nap and the call of motherhood rung again - thank you , LORD!) But in the LORD's faithfulness, He is the One who granted the freedom and He provided the refreshment. Cheesecake and a movie wouldn't be refreshing for me each Sunday, but when Guided by the Giver, there is even refreshment for "The Intense" in a quiet afternoon with dessert and Disney.
What a beautiful lesson, thank you, dear Father!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Jesus Mountain - Adventure of the Christian Life
How do I articulate this?
I tried at our Mom-2-Mom last Thursday (March 1, 2012) and I really feel I botched it, so I'm going to try in written form...
It's the articulation of where I am in my Christian walk. What I learning from God right now. But how do I say it without sounding self-debasing or self-righteous, over-analytical or judgmental?
I want to know Christ, I want to live out His righteousness...(Philippians 3:8ff) But to say that implies that I don't and does that come across as arrogant or belittling to someone who views me more spiritually mature than themself? "If she doesn't think she knows Christ, then she must think I really know nothing." No, no, no not at all! No, I feel like I am the babe in Christ, learning how to drink this basic spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2): Knowing Christ, living out His righteousness instead of my own "assets" (Philippians 3:7 - do I really!?! my pride deceives me!!!) I may have been able to articulate truths for my Theology 404 class that my heart hasn't fully embraced yet. Yes, yes I know & deeply believe the truths of His life and death and resurrection...this Easter, I want to really know it. What does that take? I think that takes many Selahs. And the Selahs of the failures of fasting in Lent may just help with that.
A new Lesson to Learn for the Adventure.
For me, it's been 31 years of breathing on this earth and 16 years of those knowing Christ as my personal LORD and Savior.
16 years of hiking the mountain with God - first three years: very slowly, very flat terrain, establishing myself as a committed hiker; the next four years during college: charging that mountain, gaining a significant working knowledge of that mountain, being captivated by the breath-taking views, growing stronger by the dryness of the valleys, enjoying to minor peaks as I keep looking toward that Ultimate Peak of Heaven; two year post college: more peaks, more navigation skills, still quick pace, learning some of the finer tuned skills - growing in heart knowledge and not just head knowledge, finally committed to daily learning from The Guide Book; the last seven years: more dry valleys, more rocky terrain, more heart knowledge, more opportunities to apply the head and heart knowledge, more slips, stumbles, scrapes, blood, bruises - a more seasoned hiker to weather the storms but maybe also able to see the Hope of the Peak a little more clearly through the fog.
So, is this where God has me now after 16 years? (For the timing and pace and lessons and challenges and victories and even smaller goals of everyone's journey to the Ultimate Peak is so very vastly different!) We all start the journey on this "Jesus Mountain" with the Maker-Messiah Himself. And depending on our background and personalities and opportunities to learn and what type of learners we are etc, etc, depends on how much and how often we take the lead and when we let the Maker-Messiah navigate for us. How well do we listen to Him or do we think have been anointed the one to figure out this path now that The True Anointed One has gotten us started?
It has been my experience that echoes the stories of Scripture that the more we stay in step with the Maker-Messiah the more peaceful our trip, even when we have to weather storms.
But oh, that is so hard for this self-sufficient traveler!
So, I think this is where Maker-Messiah has me -- during this Lenten season -- at a place where I want to have a deeper understanding in my heart of hearts of my sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and the significance of that sacrifice. Oh what deep lessons that will take a life-time to continue to wrap my heart around!
John Piper's The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came and Died has been a resource I've tried to slowly work through to break down the self-sufficiency of my heart.
I did not Make me or any of my talents and I did not Save me nor do I sanctify myself in any way. Hmmm...that mysterious process of sanctification...I know in my head that it is all because of Christ's work, but my heart lives as if something of the sanctification part of salvation relies on my work..."work out your salvation" says Philippians 2:12. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," says Philippians 2:13. It's a both and.
Maybe it has something to do with Tim Keller's words in the "Heart: Three Ways to Live" section of "Gospel in Life": "We need to not only repent of the bad things that we do, but we need to repent of the reasons we do good things."
"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (Proverbs 16:2) Oh, how it seems like even the good things I do and want to do are tainted with impure motives or reasons. Purify me, LORD Jesus, purify me!!!
So maybe if I stay more in step with my Guide on the mountainous trails of life, I will see more clearly the path -- maybe I will want to stay away from the sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and maybe just maybe I will understand more His righteousness that I can receive through the power of His resurrection and maybe when I slip and stumble on the rocks (temptations to sin in thought, word, or action!) of the trail, I will know they were necessary to point me back to my Guide & Savior - the Only One who can & did walk the trail without slipping in order to save us and thus is the Only One I should link arms with as I navigate this Jesus Mountain called "life". It's this truth of the Grace of Christ in the midst of Failure that seems to be the key Lesson of the LORD for me on this path of the Jesus Mountain.
The Jesus Mountain is Glorious no matter which trail you are on - the beginning trail head holds so much Glorious anticipation, the steady climb gives you opportunity to enjoy His Glorious scenery, the rocky terrain & valleys gives you opportunity to cling to the Glorious One into whose Glory you are climbing! Keep hiking fellow traveler! Keep hiking in Him and through Him and for Him (Romans 11:36)!
I tried at our Mom-2-Mom last Thursday (March 1, 2012) and I really feel I botched it, so I'm going to try in written form...
It's the articulation of where I am in my Christian walk. What I learning from God right now. But how do I say it without sounding self-debasing or self-righteous, over-analytical or judgmental?
I want to know Christ, I want to live out His righteousness...(Philippians 3:8ff) But to say that implies that I don't and does that come across as arrogant or belittling to someone who views me more spiritually mature than themself? "If she doesn't think she knows Christ, then she must think I really know nothing." No, no, no not at all! No, I feel like I am the babe in Christ, learning how to drink this basic spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2): Knowing Christ, living out His righteousness instead of my own "assets" (Philippians 3:7 - do I really!?! my pride deceives me!!!) I may have been able to articulate truths for my Theology 404 class that my heart hasn't fully embraced yet. Yes, yes I know & deeply believe the truths of His life and death and resurrection...this Easter, I want to really know it. What does that take? I think that takes many Selahs. And the Selahs of the failures of fasting in Lent may just help with that.
A new Lesson to Learn for the Adventure.
For me, it's been 31 years of breathing on this earth and 16 years of those knowing Christ as my personal LORD and Savior.
16 years of hiking the mountain with God - first three years: very slowly, very flat terrain, establishing myself as a committed hiker; the next four years during college: charging that mountain, gaining a significant working knowledge of that mountain, being captivated by the breath-taking views, growing stronger by the dryness of the valleys, enjoying to minor peaks as I keep looking toward that Ultimate Peak of Heaven; two year post college: more peaks, more navigation skills, still quick pace, learning some of the finer tuned skills - growing in heart knowledge and not just head knowledge, finally committed to daily learning from The Guide Book; the last seven years: more dry valleys, more rocky terrain, more heart knowledge, more opportunities to apply the head and heart knowledge, more slips, stumbles, scrapes, blood, bruises - a more seasoned hiker to weather the storms but maybe also able to see the Hope of the Peak a little more clearly through the fog.
So, is this where God has me now after 16 years? (For the timing and pace and lessons and challenges and victories and even smaller goals of everyone's journey to the Ultimate Peak is so very vastly different!) We all start the journey on this "Jesus Mountain" with the Maker-Messiah Himself. And depending on our background and personalities and opportunities to learn and what type of learners we are etc, etc, depends on how much and how often we take the lead and when we let the Maker-Messiah navigate for us. How well do we listen to Him or do we think have been anointed the one to figure out this path now that The True Anointed One has gotten us started?
It has been my experience that echoes the stories of Scripture that the more we stay in step with the Maker-Messiah the more peaceful our trip, even when we have to weather storms.
But oh, that is so hard for this self-sufficient traveler!
So, I think this is where Maker-Messiah has me -- during this Lenten season -- at a place where I want to have a deeper understanding in my heart of hearts of my sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and the significance of that sacrifice. Oh what deep lessons that will take a life-time to continue to wrap my heart around!
John Piper's The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came and Died has been a resource I've tried to slowly work through to break down the self-sufficiency of my heart.
I did not Make me or any of my talents and I did not Save me nor do I sanctify myself in any way. Hmmm...that mysterious process of sanctification...I know in my head that it is all because of Christ's work, but my heart lives as if something of the sanctification part of salvation relies on my work..."work out your salvation" says Philippians 2:12. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," says Philippians 2:13. It's a both and.
Maybe it has something to do with Tim Keller's words in the "Heart: Three Ways to Live" section of "Gospel in Life": "We need to not only repent of the bad things that we do, but we need to repent of the reasons we do good things."
"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (Proverbs 16:2) Oh, how it seems like even the good things I do and want to do are tainted with impure motives or reasons. Purify me, LORD Jesus, purify me!!!
So maybe if I stay more in step with my Guide on the mountainous trails of life, I will see more clearly the path -- maybe I will want to stay away from the sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and maybe just maybe I will understand more His righteousness that I can receive through the power of His resurrection and maybe when I slip and stumble on the rocks (temptations to sin in thought, word, or action!) of the trail, I will know they were necessary to point me back to my Guide & Savior - the Only One who can & did walk the trail without slipping in order to save us and thus is the Only One I should link arms with as I navigate this Jesus Mountain called "life". It's this truth of the Grace of Christ in the midst of Failure that seems to be the key Lesson of the LORD for me on this path of the Jesus Mountain.
The Jesus Mountain is Glorious no matter which trail you are on - the beginning trail head holds so much Glorious anticipation, the steady climb gives you opportunity to enjoy His Glorious scenery, the rocky terrain & valleys gives you opportunity to cling to the Glorious One into whose Glory you are climbing! Keep hiking fellow traveler! Keep hiking in Him and through Him and for Him (Romans 11:36)!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
New Insight (for me:)) into Spiritual Gifts & Serving
I really hope this doesn't sound "anti-serving" or anything of the sort. This was a freeing lesson for me, so maybe you put your own gifts or callings in place of mine or maybe you had this figured out already...
One of the spiritual gifts that shows up when I take a "spiritual gifts test" is the gift of teaching. I feel a sense of energy when I have the opportunity to use that gifting and receive affirmation when used also. It is my understanding that those two aspects can be confirmation of gifting, so for the purpose of this post I will claim the spiritual gift of teaching (and no level of quality is pronounced in that claim:)). In fact, last week I had an opportunity to teach on "Heart Needs" in which I used material from a recent post and I had to humbly cling to the LORD as the enemy plagued me with doubt after my message - a good exercise in not looking for man's approval and trusting that God was still choosing to speak this message through me. (1 Cor. 2:4-6)
Anyway, the passages on Spiritual Gifts (Romans 12:3 ff, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4:7ff make it clear that some have the gift of teaching, some the gift of serving, etc. And yet there is also a calling in scripture to all Christ's followers to serve as He did, right?
"Have this mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who...taking the form of a servant..." (Philippians 2: 5-7)
"...But whoever would be great among you must be your servant..." (Matthew 20:26ff)
"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." (Galatians 5:13)
This message in scripture (then presented in the form of messages from the "pulpit" through my college ministry years and beyond) have left me with the belief that I should be serving in sacrificial ways as Christ did. Which I think is true, but I also am realizing that what I have internalized is that "to serve" means to help the church with all those "hands on needs." I have been so impressed with people that seem to serve the church tirelessly and realized that I carry a weight of guilt that I don't feel like I serve as much as I should. I have looked at the women a stage or so ahead of me in life as an inspirational model to be like one day and given myself grace that I'm in a stage of life that demands a great deal of my time and energy with two young, highly dependent children. But then I look at the women in my stage of life - specifically the two with one or two more young children than I have and both homeschool and yet still seem to on the front lines of serving the church. I spent a weekend fighting the burden of comparison - such an ugly, godless activity. And yes, I can know the truth that I am not to compare and try to dwell on that truth, but it was my reading of Acts 13:1-4 that brought this new insight and the sense of freedom...
Barnabus and Saul were set apart by the Holy Spirit for the work to which He had called them. Also, I was reminded that in Acts 6 those disciples preaching the word appointed 7 men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom (honorable description, not lesser because not preachers) to serve the physical needs of people. Yet, those who preached, preached as God opened doors for them and those who preached, served physical needs of people as God opened doors for them - yet they were called to spend a majority of their time and energy preaching and therefore God opened more doors for those opportunities He wanted them to be faithful with. Priscilla and Aquila were a neat example to me of this in Acts 18. They were tentmakers by professional (their vocational calling-where they spent a majority of their time & energy) who served Paul by opening their home to him (fulfilled the need of hospitality as God opened that door) and then taught Apollos The Way more accurately (as God opened that door).
As I have been wrestling with my calling (of being a wife and mother) and my gifting (teaching) and my duty? to serve the church, my God Whispers had repeatedly been something like "be faithful with the little or big task I am asking of you in the here and now. That is serving Me in faith. I will open doors for you to serve Me - serve in the form of teaching, serving in the form of hospitality, serving by mercy, OR even an open door to serve Me with those 'hands on service opportunities' by setting up tables and chairs or helping with food for a church gathering."
So, I am NOT at all saying only those with the "gift of serving" should serve the church, just as not only those with the "gift of hospitality" should be hospitable (Romans 12:13). I think what I'm learning is that the call to serve means to serve with the "grace given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift" (Eph. 4:7). I may have that grace in a larger measure for teaching and the grace in a smaller measure for serving, hospitality, mercy, exhortation, etc.
For me, who wants to be a good servant, is learning the blessing of saying, "No" and living within my God-given capacity, and who does like to be helpful, this lesson from the LORD was a refreshing one of freedom. I am just asked to seek the LORD for what He wants me to do and be faithful to that and not follow some imagined, phantom "scripture perscribed" servant. My being a faithful servant of the LORD (and specifically being faithful in serving the church) doesn't always have to be the front lines help I see my friends doing. Maybe they are called to that and maybe they are in the process of learning the calling vs. the duty of serving? I have seen people burn themselves out by trying to do it all to a great measure - hospitality, serving, giving, teaching, exhorting, leading, shepherding. And I have seen people hurt because they expect those in leadership to be doing these all to a great measure. And I have seen people wear the burden of failure because they aren't all these things.
I am faithful if I take time and energy and obediently write a letter of encouragement that the Holy Spirit is prompting me to or take the time to really listen to and give someone biblical counsel or go out of my way to generously giving in order to meet a physical need. I'm not being faithful to God's working in my heart if I'm comparing myself to people, nor shall others compare themselves to my opportunities "to teach" (public or private) or whatever other spiritual gift I may be living out in whatever measure of grace I have. Am I responding to God's promptings with the measure of grace, time, and energy He is providing?
"Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord." (Romans 12:11)
"Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord. (Colossians 3:23)
"to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ," (Ephesians 4:12) To serve the church = to build up the church (body of Christ).
Serving the Lord means serving the Church and serving the Church better be done with a heart attitude of serving the Lord. And serving the Church sometimes means serving the hands on "kitchen duty" needs of the church, but serving the Church should always mean building up the Body of Christ.
What am I doing, what are you doing to serve the Church; what are we doing to build up the Church - each day, on a regular basis, according to each God prompting!?! To be faithful to this IS being a faithful servant of God's spiritual gifts, all in His grace.
One of the spiritual gifts that shows up when I take a "spiritual gifts test" is the gift of teaching. I feel a sense of energy when I have the opportunity to use that gifting and receive affirmation when used also. It is my understanding that those two aspects can be confirmation of gifting, so for the purpose of this post I will claim the spiritual gift of teaching (and no level of quality is pronounced in that claim:)). In fact, last week I had an opportunity to teach on "Heart Needs" in which I used material from a recent post and I had to humbly cling to the LORD as the enemy plagued me with doubt after my message - a good exercise in not looking for man's approval and trusting that God was still choosing to speak this message through me. (1 Cor. 2:4-6)
Anyway, the passages on Spiritual Gifts (Romans 12:3 ff, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4:7ff make it clear that some have the gift of teaching, some the gift of serving, etc. And yet there is also a calling in scripture to all Christ's followers to serve as He did, right?
"Have this mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who...taking the form of a servant..." (Philippians 2: 5-7)
"...But whoever would be great among you must be your servant..." (Matthew 20:26ff)
"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." (Galatians 5:13)
This message in scripture (then presented in the form of messages from the "pulpit" through my college ministry years and beyond) have left me with the belief that I should be serving in sacrificial ways as Christ did. Which I think is true, but I also am realizing that what I have internalized is that "to serve" means to help the church with all those "hands on needs." I have been so impressed with people that seem to serve the church tirelessly and realized that I carry a weight of guilt that I don't feel like I serve as much as I should. I have looked at the women a stage or so ahead of me in life as an inspirational model to be like one day and given myself grace that I'm in a stage of life that demands a great deal of my time and energy with two young, highly dependent children. But then I look at the women in my stage of life - specifically the two with one or two more young children than I have and both homeschool and yet still seem to on the front lines of serving the church. I spent a weekend fighting the burden of comparison - such an ugly, godless activity. And yes, I can know the truth that I am not to compare and try to dwell on that truth, but it was my reading of Acts 13:1-4 that brought this new insight and the sense of freedom...
Barnabus and Saul were set apart by the Holy Spirit for the work to which He had called them. Also, I was reminded that in Acts 6 those disciples preaching the word appointed 7 men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom (honorable description, not lesser because not preachers) to serve the physical needs of people. Yet, those who preached, preached as God opened doors for them and those who preached, served physical needs of people as God opened doors for them - yet they were called to spend a majority of their time and energy preaching and therefore God opened more doors for those opportunities He wanted them to be faithful with. Priscilla and Aquila were a neat example to me of this in Acts 18. They were tentmakers by professional (their vocational calling-where they spent a majority of their time & energy) who served Paul by opening their home to him (fulfilled the need of hospitality as God opened that door) and then taught Apollos The Way more accurately (as God opened that door).
As I have been wrestling with my calling (of being a wife and mother) and my gifting (teaching) and my duty? to serve the church, my God Whispers had repeatedly been something like "be faithful with the little or big task I am asking of you in the here and now. That is serving Me in faith. I will open doors for you to serve Me - serve in the form of teaching, serving in the form of hospitality, serving by mercy, OR even an open door to serve Me with those 'hands on service opportunities' by setting up tables and chairs or helping with food for a church gathering."
So, I am NOT at all saying only those with the "gift of serving" should serve the church, just as not only those with the "gift of hospitality" should be hospitable (Romans 12:13). I think what I'm learning is that the call to serve means to serve with the "grace given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift" (Eph. 4:7). I may have that grace in a larger measure for teaching and the grace in a smaller measure for serving, hospitality, mercy, exhortation, etc.
For me, who wants to be a good servant, is learning the blessing of saying, "No" and living within my God-given capacity, and who does like to be helpful, this lesson from the LORD was a refreshing one of freedom. I am just asked to seek the LORD for what He wants me to do and be faithful to that and not follow some imagined, phantom "scripture perscribed" servant. My being a faithful servant of the LORD (and specifically being faithful in serving the church) doesn't always have to be the front lines help I see my friends doing. Maybe they are called to that and maybe they are in the process of learning the calling vs. the duty of serving? I have seen people burn themselves out by trying to do it all to a great measure - hospitality, serving, giving, teaching, exhorting, leading, shepherding. And I have seen people hurt because they expect those in leadership to be doing these all to a great measure. And I have seen people wear the burden of failure because they aren't all these things.
I am faithful if I take time and energy and obediently write a letter of encouragement that the Holy Spirit is prompting me to or take the time to really listen to and give someone biblical counsel or go out of my way to generously giving in order to meet a physical need. I'm not being faithful to God's working in my heart if I'm comparing myself to people, nor shall others compare themselves to my opportunities "to teach" (public or private) or whatever other spiritual gift I may be living out in whatever measure of grace I have. Am I responding to God's promptings with the measure of grace, time, and energy He is providing?
"Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord." (Romans 12:11)
"Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord. (Colossians 3:23)
"to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ," (Ephesians 4:12) To serve the church = to build up the church (body of Christ).
Serving the Lord means serving the Church and serving the Church better be done with a heart attitude of serving the Lord. And serving the Church sometimes means serving the hands on "kitchen duty" needs of the church, but serving the Church should always mean building up the Body of Christ.
What am I doing, what are you doing to serve the Church; what are we doing to build up the Church - each day, on a regular basis, according to each God prompting!?! To be faithful to this IS being a faithful servant of God's spiritual gifts, all in His grace.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Beauty to Ashes
Friday
evening…sweet, sweet evening with women at church. Delicious food, even better conversation,
with one woman in particular, and awesome missionary stories of the work of our
magnificent God!
Sunday
morning…attack from the enemy. But, oh
beauty from ashes, beauty from ashes!
The ashen grey of my heart – burned from husband hurt, burned from my
heart’s wondering around the sanctuary and comparing to other women…women who
serve the church, women who serve better than me; women my same age, with one
or two more children than I have, who have even more responsibility than I do
as their time demands the homeschooling of those children. Song sung (Lead Me, by Sanctus Real); tears
roll and a visit to the bathroom cleanses, especially when a deacon’s wife
pursues me and listens and speaks words of mercy…beauty from ashes. Later than evening more beauty from ashes …Husband
shares that the song ministered to him as well.
A brokenness that leads to a break-through in our seven year marriage…beauty
from ashes, beauty from ashes!
Monday
morning…what does serving the church really look like in Scripture? I fall into the temptation of comparing
myself to other women who are serving the church when in actuality – rather in
faith – I should look to Scripture as my model and the LORD as my Guide.
Even
when we read Scripture we could easily get a warped perspective because at
first read it appears that the followers of Christ are always preaching,
teaching, and performing signs and wonders in His name. But chronologically (as I was reading through
Acts), all this ministry was done by several different disciples over an
extended period of time. And fittingly,
God had recorded in His scriptures mainly His works. We don’t get a lot of other details about
what the lives of the followers of Jesus entailed.
Simple realization, but realizing that gave me a freedom that my
ministry did not have to be a continual overt word and deed proclaiming the
glory of God. A confirmation that my day
in and day out words and deeds ARE my ministry, not just the overt “God talks”
and “God works”. There is no recording of each disciple having a continual act of serving
the Church, thus scripture does not call me to have a continual hands on service
to the church. Some are called to more
service and some are called to more teaching and some don’t have either call,
so why do I compare myself to something the LORD is not calling me to? I am not called to “be like her;” I am called
to “be like Him”...be like Him in character and do as God Guides me to do, not
as God (may or may not have) guided her
to do.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Resonating...
I read three things this afternoon during my Sabbath Rest and those three things READ ME:
1) Gary Thomas' "Sacred Parenting" - Sacrifice: How Raising Children Teaches Us to Sacrifice - pgs. 178-188
~ "While we find it easy to "open up" a spiritual gift, it's not so easy to lay one down on God's behalf."
~ "Christianity was birthed in sacrifice and calls us to many acts of sacrifice."..."On the back of Christ's sacrifice"
~ "How do kids get nurtured with the active love, available counsel, and prayerful presence they so desperately need? On the backs of their mothers' sacrifices, that's how."
~ "Sometimes responsibility, loyalty, and maturity call us to willingly lay down our dreams for the sake of those we love - and in the hope that hose who come after us can accomplish even more than we could."
~ "However 'important' we may think we are, we should expect that God can do even more important things through our children. It is our duty to give them our full attention and our best effort, hoping that they can build on this to become influential Christians themselves..." (not becoming so busy with their "own ministries")
~ Matthew 14
A Post To Come to explain how reading this chapter read me...
2) John Eldredge's "Walking with God" - 'Learning How to Listen', 'Whole and Holy', 'Making Room for Joy' - pgs. 25 - 41
~ Since being introduced to "God Guides", I have entered the adventure of *Listening to God*. Not as immediately, regularly, or well as I would like, but a desire fulfilled more in the last year than ever before...and I call that Spiritual Growth. To read Eldredge's explanation of how he "Learned to Listen" resonates with me. I am encouraged to know I am not alone in Learning to be a Listener and that he's teaching others too!
~ Whole and Holy - Holiness is a calling I am so conscious to strive for and again I sometimes feel alone is my intensity of that striving. Wholeness/healing is also a drumbeat in my heart (connected to "Post To Come" above). And Eldredge articulates it in a way that I say, "YES!" "You can't find the holiness you want without deep wholeness. And you can't find the wholeness you want without deep holiness." Holiness of Christ --> Healing --> Wholeness --> Holiness
~ Eldredge heard from God on "Making Room for Joy" and this brought tears to my eyes - again, I am not alone in my struggle to experience the Christian Joy... that Joy that is just supposed to overflow from me because I Know Christ!?!?
3) Ann Voskamp's website "A Holy Experience"
One post on how she feels like she's "just not getting it all right". Again, brought tears to my eyes...this is a woman I do not know personally, but I have been ministered to deeply through her website writings. I admire her walk with God, being a decade or so down the road from me. I want to learn from her, because what she writes about resonates with what I want to grow in. And then to read that she feels inadequate "just like me." I am not alone - in my striving for holiness and God's sweet reminders to rely humbly on Him! In Ann Voskamp's own words, "Praise not Perfection; Grace not Grindstone." And what perfect timing as I am flailing in getting life back to "normal" after three weeks of upheaval due to my mother-in-law's illness and death, return home from a funeral, and decide on, buy, wrap, and mail Christmas presents! And then to read her next post...and cry more...this too is my heart's cry for a radical Christmas.
40 Days of Surrender - Day 61 - Surrender "Getting it all right" NOW - For a list of the "Daily Lesson" titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
1) Gary Thomas' "Sacred Parenting" - Sacrifice: How Raising Children Teaches Us to Sacrifice - pgs. 178-188
~ "While we find it easy to "open up" a spiritual gift, it's not so easy to lay one down on God's behalf."
~ "Christianity was birthed in sacrifice and calls us to many acts of sacrifice."..."On the back of Christ's sacrifice"
~ "How do kids get nurtured with the active love, available counsel, and prayerful presence they so desperately need? On the backs of their mothers' sacrifices, that's how."
~ "Sometimes responsibility, loyalty, and maturity call us to willingly lay down our dreams for the sake of those we love - and in the hope that hose who come after us can accomplish even more than we could."
~ "However 'important' we may think we are, we should expect that God can do even more important things through our children. It is our duty to give them our full attention and our best effort, hoping that they can build on this to become influential Christians themselves..." (not becoming so busy with their "own ministries")
~ Matthew 14
A Post To Come to explain how reading this chapter read me...
2) John Eldredge's "Walking with God" - 'Learning How to Listen', 'Whole and Holy', 'Making Room for Joy' - pgs. 25 - 41
~ Since being introduced to "God Guides", I have entered the adventure of *Listening to God*. Not as immediately, regularly, or well as I would like, but a desire fulfilled more in the last year than ever before...and I call that Spiritual Growth. To read Eldredge's explanation of how he "Learned to Listen" resonates with me. I am encouraged to know I am not alone in Learning to be a Listener and that he's teaching others too!
~ Whole and Holy - Holiness is a calling I am so conscious to strive for and again I sometimes feel alone is my intensity of that striving. Wholeness/healing is also a drumbeat in my heart (connected to "Post To Come" above). And Eldredge articulates it in a way that I say, "YES!" "You can't find the holiness you want without deep wholeness. And you can't find the wholeness you want without deep holiness." Holiness of Christ --> Healing --> Wholeness --> Holiness
~ Eldredge heard from God on "Making Room for Joy" and this brought tears to my eyes - again, I am not alone in my struggle to experience the Christian Joy... that Joy that is just supposed to overflow from me because I Know Christ!?!?
3) Ann Voskamp's website "A Holy Experience"
One post on how she feels like she's "just not getting it all right". Again, brought tears to my eyes...this is a woman I do not know personally, but I have been ministered to deeply through her website writings. I admire her walk with God, being a decade or so down the road from me. I want to learn from her, because what she writes about resonates with what I want to grow in. And then to read that she feels inadequate "just like me." I am not alone - in my striving for holiness and God's sweet reminders to rely humbly on Him! In Ann Voskamp's own words, "Praise not Perfection; Grace not Grindstone." And what perfect timing as I am flailing in getting life back to "normal" after three weeks of upheaval due to my mother-in-law's illness and death, return home from a funeral, and decide on, buy, wrap, and mail Christmas presents! And then to read her next post...and cry more...this too is my heart's cry for a radical Christmas.
40 Days of Surrender - Day 61 - Surrender "Getting it all right" NOW - For a list of the "Daily Lesson" titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 58
Thursday, December 8, 2011 - Keep Surrendering
It's been 25 days since I last posted and boy has it been a whirlwind and wow have God and I had quite the conversations!
November 2nd my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer for the third time in 10 years. Nov. 9th she got news that it was inoperable and she was too weak for chemo so she had the option of choosing radiation and/or feeding tube (as the tumor was in her esophagus and causing swallowing trouble). Nov. 11th she opted against the radiation and against the feeding tube. Nov. 14-20th DH flew out to NC to spend some time with his mom and help his dad. He returned to NC Nov. 24-27th for the weekend of Thanksgiving instead of joining me and the kids in Ohio. DMIL passed away the evening of Nov. 28th. DH and I flew out Dec. 1st for the funeral on the 3rd and returned home 9pm on the 4th.
When I knew DH was going to be gone for the week before Thanksgiving and I was planning on being in Ohio with my parents the week of Thanksgiving anyway, I ended up going to Ohio a week earlier. That way I could be closer to NC if I needed to get to the funeral and the kids were already with my parents. As it turned out Mom, the kids, and I were in a hotel halfway back from Ohio when DH called the evening of the 28th with the news. My mom ended up staying 5 extra days to be with the kids so I could accompany DH to the funeral and fully focus on what needed to be done there (What an awesome Mom she is!)
So 2 weeks traveling and three weeks of upheaval and I have had a peace - I have truly sensed the prayers of the saints "holding up my arms in battle" for although overwhelmed at times, I have not been too stressed, anxious, or irritable that is not my "natural" response so I credit that to the working of the Holy Spirit in response to the prayers of His people. Thank you to anyone reading this who may be responsible for the evidence of God's hand "on earth as it is in heaven"!
And as my Dear Friend pointed out, it seems as though in the LORD's faithfulness He was preparing me for "such a time as this" by having me in this Fast of Surrender. For many of the aspects of my selfishness that I have been conscious to surrender in the last several weeks have pricked my heart again, guiding me to walk by the grace of godliness and not give in to the temptation of "fleshy feeling."
It is my desire to post some of these details in the days to come, so stay tuned...but with adjusting to "normal life" and it being in the midst of the Christmas season, I have no guesstimate on when or how often that blog-processing might be!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
It's been 25 days since I last posted and boy has it been a whirlwind and wow have God and I had quite the conversations!
November 2nd my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer for the third time in 10 years. Nov. 9th she got news that it was inoperable and she was too weak for chemo so she had the option of choosing radiation and/or feeding tube (as the tumor was in her esophagus and causing swallowing trouble). Nov. 11th she opted against the radiation and against the feeding tube. Nov. 14-20th DH flew out to NC to spend some time with his mom and help his dad. He returned to NC Nov. 24-27th for the weekend of Thanksgiving instead of joining me and the kids in Ohio. DMIL passed away the evening of Nov. 28th. DH and I flew out Dec. 1st for the funeral on the 3rd and returned home 9pm on the 4th.
When I knew DH was going to be gone for the week before Thanksgiving and I was planning on being in Ohio with my parents the week of Thanksgiving anyway, I ended up going to Ohio a week earlier. That way I could be closer to NC if I needed to get to the funeral and the kids were already with my parents. As it turned out Mom, the kids, and I were in a hotel halfway back from Ohio when DH called the evening of the 28th with the news. My mom ended up staying 5 extra days to be with the kids so I could accompany DH to the funeral and fully focus on what needed to be done there (What an awesome Mom she is!)
So 2 weeks traveling and three weeks of upheaval and I have had a peace - I have truly sensed the prayers of the saints "holding up my arms in battle" for although overwhelmed at times, I have not been too stressed, anxious, or irritable that is not my "natural" response so I credit that to the working of the Holy Spirit in response to the prayers of His people. Thank you to anyone reading this who may be responsible for the evidence of God's hand "on earth as it is in heaven"!
And as my Dear Friend pointed out, it seems as though in the LORD's faithfulness He was preparing me for "such a time as this" by having me in this Fast of Surrender. For many of the aspects of my selfishness that I have been conscious to surrender in the last several weeks have pricked my heart again, guiding me to walk by the grace of godliness and not give in to the temptation of "fleshy feeling."
It is my desire to post some of these details in the days to come, so stay tuned...but with adjusting to "normal life" and it being in the midst of the Christmas season, I have no guesstimate on when or how often that blog-processing might be!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Friday, November 4, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 24
Thursday, November 3, 2011 - Even the Customer Service Lady
I called our insurance company yesterday and customer service representative, Melissa (name changed to protect the "innocent":)) answered in her "end of the day at the end of the week, not liking my job very much" voice. I do try not be the person to make the customer service person's day unpleasant, so I started the conversation off quite friendly (even though I already feel like I've gotten a bit of a runaround from them):
J: Hi, I'm following up on a claim that was mail at the end of last week.
M: Well, where did it get mailed to?
J: Investigations department in Kentucky.
M: Well, I don't have record of it in the system yet. It could take 7 - 10 business days for us to get it in the mail.
J: I don't think it would take that long to get it in the mail.
M: If it was mailed in it went to a central location then got scanned in, then sent to the investigations department [which is interesting b/c I thought that's why I was given the investigations department address specifically to expedite the process, but that's fine], so it may take 7 - 10 business days to process and get into our system. [It had only been 5 - I wasn't expecting it to be processed yet, but I wanted to follow up and make sure it was received, but I understand they might not be able to track that if it hadn't gotten scanned into the system yet].
J: OK, I understand it might take 7 - 10 business days to process, I was thinking you were saying it would take that long just for you guys to receive it in the mail.
M: Oh, well it could, I have people send me things and I say, "Oh, I didn't get that" and sometimes it can take a month.
J [In a sarcastically friendly, a.k.a. snotty tone]: Ma'am. You don't need to go defending your insurance company. I know that happens under rare circumstances, but usually it takes 2-3 days to receive mail these days.
M: I'm just saying it could take 7 - 10 business days to process.
J: Alright then, I'll check back in 7 - 10 business days. Thank you.
GUILTY CONSCIENCE...Can't keep sweeping the wood floor without being pierced with guilt. Even though I didn't yell at the customer service lady, my sarcastic snotty tone was just as disrespectful. It was rude, unnecessary, and unbeneficial to argue with her about the postal service delivery timing. It was unbeneficial arguing...I need to not justify my sin...and I need to confess...and ask forgiveness...All these lessons of surrender rolled together with the Customer Service Lady!!! (whom I will most likely never speak to again, but whom I still sinned against:( )
Stop what you're doing, Jill, and reconcile.
But, God, can I just finish sweeping this area?
That's saying what you want to do is more important that making things right with Melissa, who bears my image (James 3:9, 10 ) and you wronged with your words.
Sigh...stop in the middle of something (which is hard for me!)...dial, ring, push prompts, and I get disconnected! [Do they have caller ID!?!]...sweep a little more...call again...
J: May I please be connected to Melissa.
S: Sure, If she isn't available would you like her voicemail or be directed back to me?
J: Voicemail, please.
M's voicemail...
J: Melissa, this is Jill. We just spoke about the claim I mailed in and I wanted to call back and apologize. I really do try not to be the one to add to the misery of a customer service person's day and I realize that even though I didn't yell at you my sarcastic tone was just as disrespectful. It was rude, unnecessary, and unbeneficial for me to argue with you about the postal system's delivery time. I just wanted to call back and apologize and hope you have more of a blessing sort of day. Thanks.
Phew...that was humbling. But I hope that the humility itself demonstrated Christ and His power in His people's lives to confess sin and seek reconciliation! Our God is a God of reconciliation! On the one hand I'm glad I got Melissa's voicemail because it was easier to just rattle off my apology. On the other hand I'm very curious what her response is. Maybe God will show me in Heaven one day...for now I get to walk in the blessing of obedience - no matter how awkward or how much or little I "feel" the blessing!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
I called our insurance company yesterday and customer service representative, Melissa (name changed to protect the "innocent":)) answered in her "end of the day at the end of the week, not liking my job very much" voice. I do try not be the person to make the customer service person's day unpleasant, so I started the conversation off quite friendly (even though I already feel like I've gotten a bit of a runaround from them):
J: Hi, I'm following up on a claim that was mail at the end of last week.
M: Well, where did it get mailed to?
J: Investigations department in Kentucky.
M: Well, I don't have record of it in the system yet. It could take 7 - 10 business days for us to get it in the mail.
J: I don't think it would take that long to get it in the mail.
M: If it was mailed in it went to a central location then got scanned in, then sent to the investigations department [which is interesting b/c I thought that's why I was given the investigations department address specifically to expedite the process, but that's fine], so it may take 7 - 10 business days to process and get into our system. [It had only been 5 - I wasn't expecting it to be processed yet, but I wanted to follow up and make sure it was received, but I understand they might not be able to track that if it hadn't gotten scanned into the system yet].
J: OK, I understand it might take 7 - 10 business days to process, I was thinking you were saying it would take that long just for you guys to receive it in the mail.
M: Oh, well it could, I have people send me things and I say, "Oh, I didn't get that" and sometimes it can take a month.
J [In a sarcastically friendly, a.k.a. snotty tone]: Ma'am. You don't need to go defending your insurance company. I know that happens under rare circumstances, but usually it takes 2-3 days to receive mail these days.
M: I'm just saying it could take 7 - 10 business days to process.
J: Alright then, I'll check back in 7 - 10 business days. Thank you.
GUILTY CONSCIENCE...Can't keep sweeping the wood floor without being pierced with guilt. Even though I didn't yell at the customer service lady, my sarcastic snotty tone was just as disrespectful. It was rude, unnecessary, and unbeneficial to argue with her about the postal service delivery timing. It was unbeneficial arguing...I need to not justify my sin...and I need to confess...and ask forgiveness...All these lessons of surrender rolled together with the Customer Service Lady!!! (whom I will most likely never speak to again, but whom I still sinned against:( )
Stop what you're doing, Jill, and reconcile.
But, God, can I just finish sweeping this area?
That's saying what you want to do is more important that making things right with Melissa, who bears my image (James 3:9, 10 ) and you wronged with your words.
Sigh...stop in the middle of something (which is hard for me!)...dial, ring, push prompts, and I get disconnected! [Do they have caller ID!?!]...sweep a little more...call again...
J: May I please be connected to Melissa.
S: Sure, If she isn't available would you like her voicemail or be directed back to me?
J: Voicemail, please.
M's voicemail...
J: Melissa, this is Jill. We just spoke about the claim I mailed in and I wanted to call back and apologize. I really do try not to be the one to add to the misery of a customer service person's day and I realize that even though I didn't yell at you my sarcastic tone was just as disrespectful. It was rude, unnecessary, and unbeneficial for me to argue with you about the postal system's delivery time. I just wanted to call back and apologize and hope you have more of a blessing sort of day. Thanks.
Phew...that was humbling. But I hope that the humility itself demonstrated Christ and His power in His people's lives to confess sin and seek reconciliation! Our God is a God of reconciliation! On the one hand I'm glad I got Melissa's voicemail because it was easier to just rattle off my apology. On the other hand I'm very curious what her response is. Maybe God will show me in Heaven one day...for now I get to walk in the blessing of obedience - no matter how awkward or how much or little I "feel" the blessing!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
God Guides
God Guides is a little booklet I received from a dear friend who used to be my staff director when I was a college campus minister. It is the stories of an Indian missionary about examples of God Guiding through times of Listening Prayer.
Let Go
Stay in Step
Let Go
Stay in Step
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 17
Wednesday, October 26, 2011 - Hesitancy, Talk with God
This isn't necessarily a "surrender" lesson, but it's what was on my heart this morning. Yesterday, I posted about the Teen Parents ministry our family is getting involved in. It's interesting I even use the term "is getting" because we committed to it at the beginning of the summer and have gone almost every week to serve in one form or another since then. Even as the ministry and girls and guys and kids are heavy on my heart, I still feel a disconnect. So, I asked God,
"Can you shed light on my hesitancy?"
"Is it from myself or from You?"
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
I have failed in the past by trying to be "The Rescuer" (trying to meet needs only Christ can) and have been burned by not having healthy boundaries in my own heart/mind/life. I want to be a healthy influence in their lives and not be an enabler, nor be used, nor be burned out. I want to walk in wisdom, but I'm hesitant because I don't know what I'm getting myself into, I feel ill-equipped, and I don't know how much ministering in this avenue is going to take from me - time, emotions, money and I don't know how much it should. I don't have a grasp on the balance between boundaries and sacrifice.
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
This isn't necessarily a "surrender" lesson, but it's what was on my heart this morning. Yesterday, I posted about the Teen Parents ministry our family is getting involved in. It's interesting I even use the term "is getting" because we committed to it at the beginning of the summer and have gone almost every week to serve in one form or another since then. Even as the ministry and girls and guys and kids are heavy on my heart, I still feel a disconnect. So, I asked God,
"Can you shed light on my hesitancy?"
"Is it from myself or from You?"
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
I have failed in the past by trying to be "The Rescuer" (trying to meet needs only Christ can) and have been burned by not having healthy boundaries in my own heart/mind/life. I want to be a healthy influence in their lives and not be an enabler, nor be used, nor be burned out. I want to walk in wisdom, but I'm hesitant because I don't know what I'm getting myself into, I feel ill-equipped, and I don't know how much ministering in this avenue is going to take from me - time, emotions, money and I don't know how much it should. I don't have a grasp on the balance between boundaries and sacrifice.
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
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