Recent Inspiration

Two posts in one day...since I've missed so many weeks of postings, I guess...

Although we haven't settled on a church home, yet, since our move, God has been faithful to keep me close to Himself.

First off, probably due to the challenges of the transition, it has forced me to cling to Him.

I did much journaling and processing early in the move.  Then felt the need to dig more deeply into The Word.  I felt lead to study Galatians - a book I haven't spent much time in but have wanted to, specifically now because of the them of "freedom" that I feel God is wanting me to learn.  

I asked a new friend who also recently moved here and seemed like she would be one of those "true fellowship" sisters if she wanted to join me in studying Galatians.  God has provided sweet friendship, fellowship, partnership, and accountability through our relationship.  One way of staying connected to the Lord!

Visiting different churches has offered fresh opportunities to worship Jesus and connect with lots of neat people.

One church is having a women's study learning from Beth Moore's Proverbs study on Wisdom - rich stuff.  Good to inspire and challenge and seek the Lord!

That church also has a "Super Sunday" where they bring in quality speakers.  Last month was Christopher Yuan.  I read the book her wrote with his mom prior to going to his speaking engagement - "Out of a Far Country: A gay son's journey to God, a broken mother's journey to hope."  Powerful.

This month's speaker is Lynn Wilder.  I read her book this summer in anticipation of her coming to speak -  Unveiling Grace: The Story of how we found our way out of the Mormon Church.  Another inspirational story that reminds you of God's power, keeping me engaged with the reality of His presence. 

And most Sundays I have still gotten to rest and be refreshed and inspired while reading Ann Voskamp's blog: aholyexperience.com  A few Sundays ago I noticed on the sidebar a square that said: Tim Keller with Ann Voskamp in your city...now Tim Keller is another one of my favorite people (i.e. one of my favorite people whom I've never met:)) and to have the opportunity to hear them both from the same stage, I wanted to know more.  Turns out they were going to be the two National speakers along with a 3 person national panel broadcast in over 60 cities worldwide speaking on "advancing good in your community" through this event for Q-Commons (never heard of them!)  And my city would be one of those 60 cities!  At each city location they would also have 3 live local speakers.  How enticing...I ended up going last Thursday - a unique experience, once again uplifting to experience the universal Body of Christ coming together for a common cause.

So these are some ways God has been recently encouraging, inspiring, challenging me and teaching me to stay in step with His Spirit!  

Beauty to Ashes

Friday evening…sweet, sweet evening with women at church.  Delicious food, even better conversation, with one woman in particular, and awesome missionary stories of the work of our magnificent God!

Sunday morning…attack from the enemy.  But, oh beauty from ashes, beauty from ashes!  The ashen grey of my heart – burned from husband hurt, burned from my heart’s wondering around the sanctuary and comparing to other women…women who serve the church, women who serve better than me; women my same age, with one or two more children than I have, who have even more responsibility than I do as their time demands the homeschooling of those children.  Song sung (Lead Me, by Sanctus Real); tears roll and a visit to the bathroom cleanses, especially when a deacon’s wife pursues me and listens and speaks words of mercy…beauty from ashes.   Later than evening more beauty from ashes …Husband shares that the song ministered to him as well.  A brokenness that leads to a break-through in our seven year marriage…beauty from ashes, beauty from ashes!

Monday morning…what does serving the church really look like in Scripture?  I fall into the temptation of comparing myself to other women who are serving the church when in actuality – rather in faith – I should look to Scripture as my model and the LORD as my Guide. 

Even when we read Scripture we could easily get a warped perspective because at first read it appears that the followers of Christ are always preaching, teaching, and performing signs and wonders in His name.  But chronologically (as I was reading through Acts), all this ministry was done by several different disciples over an extended period of time.  And fittingly, God had recorded in His scriptures mainly His works.  We don’t get a lot of other details about what the lives of the followers of Jesus entailed.  Simple realization, but realizing that gave me a freedom that my ministry did not have to be a continual overt word and deed proclaiming the glory of God.  A confirmation that my day in and day out words and deeds ARE my ministry, not just the overt “God talks” and “God works”.  There is no recording of each disciple having a continual act of serving the Church, thus scripture does not call me to have a continual hands on service to the church.  Some are called to more service and some are called to more teaching and some don’t have either call, so why do I compare myself to something the LORD is not calling me to?  I am not called to “be like her;” I am called to “be like Him”...be like Him in character and do as God Guides me to do, not as God (may or may not have) guided her to do.

Morethoughts regarding this/Spiritual Gifts of the Body HERE

What He's already given me...

I was at a frozen yogurt shop last night.  I noticed a woman who was the mom of a little girl I taught swim lessons to.  She's a runner.  She's cute and trendy.  She was sitting with 4 other 30 something ladies, presumably friends, all "attractive and modern"...and it sparked in me this DESIRE.  This aching desire that keeps appearing and causing me to long for sweet times of unhindered fun with friends.  I don't believe there is anything wrong with this desire.  The only problem with that feeling was that I WAS WALKING OUT WITH THREE OTHER 30 SOMETHING LADIES WHOM I HAD JUST HAD A LOVELY TIME OF SWEET TRUE FELLOWSHIP WITH!!!  I WAS WANTING SOMETHING THE LORD HAD JUST GIVEN ME!!!  Ugh!  How the enemy can so easily deceive our weak hearts!  How he can stir in me this discontentment SO QUICKLY.  Why and how does this happen?  THANK YOU, LORD, that You enabled me to recognize the falsehood just as quickly and to process it in a way to uproot the ugliness and plant in Your nurturing Truth!


I remember a friend of mine in college talking with me about the "phantom woman."  The one who has it all and does it all and is so godly...the one who DOESN'T EXIST but we strive to be!  I think the picture of "suave popularity" is a phantom in my life.  But where does THAT come from and why is it there?  Is it really still lingering from my desire as a 12 year old for popularity?  What is popularity?  To know and be known?  For attention, affection, approval?  But with "popularity" usually comes a compromise of character, purity...of godliness.  I certainly don't want THAT!  Maybe before I knew Christ at age 15 (knowing who He is, not just what He's done), but now I am confident that compared to knowing Christ (and living in His righteousness) all other things are rubbish (Philippians 3).  Or do I?  I know it in my head, I even believe it in my heart...so why am I so easily persuaded to think the lie of the enemy?   


"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." (Colossians 3:2)  


Does discontentment come because our minds are set on earthly things?  If my heart was soaring with gratitude for time of fellowship with friends (which would have been a genuine feeling!), would there even have been room for the discontentment to sneak in?  Is discontentment birthed because we believe the grass is greener on the other side; we believe God is withholding good from us?  (Psalm 84:11)


LORD, Please, Let me learn: To be thankful, content (a contentment of feeling fulfilled!)
                                        To set my mind on things above
                                        To rest in Your Goodness
                                        To recognize what You DO GIVE ME and Delight in it!

The Birth of "LORD, Let Me Learn"...

I have resisted the media avenues of blogs and the social networks of facebook, etc. because I have wanted to invest in the real people in my life with the limited capacity I have in this stage of life with two little ones.  However, this blog is the door the LORD has opened for me as an opportunity to have a cup-filling experience!  It "fills my cup" to have refreshing drinks in The Word with others.  So, whether I personally know you or not, it is my cup-filling joy to share these drinks of the living, refreshing Word of God with you!  Here is the story of seeds that have flourished into "LORD, Let Me Learn".


In 2003, I was a speaker for a Christian retreat of college women.  One of the volunteers approached me afterward and said something to the affect of, "You are an intense person.  That is such a good quality, don't let anyone discourage you of that."   That was a powerful statement as I often do feel a little "out of touch" with others.  Others who are more funny and laugh easily, Others who are light-hearted and spontaneous.  I'm just not wired that way.  I am serious and intense and structured.  Not that I don't appreciate a good laugh or a spontaneous adventure, but that just doesn't come naturally for me. I have held that affirmation dear over the years as it has encouraged who the LORD has made me to be, helps me reign in my intensity when needed, and helps me understand why I may feel "out of touch."  


Over the years, I have longed for intimate fellowship - dear friends I can share my deep spiritual thoughts and ponderings with.  People who also appreciate digging deeply into the Scriptures and hearing from and obeying the voice of the Spirit.  I have a few of these dear friends, but don't have those type of conversations as often as I would desire or would be soul fulfilling for me.


In July of 2011, I was riding in the car with my husband on the way home from a little getaway we had.  I was sharing how I am so energized by insights the LORD has taught me, but don't feel like I have many "outlets" for that.  


September 17, 2011 - an evening of discouragement.:(
September 18, 2011 - a day a many rejuvenating insights!  I had decided to go to the local coffee shop to get some extended time with the LORD while my family napped.  Before I went I wanted to read a blog that a friend had recommended.  (Mind you at the time I was not a follower on any blog and had only occasionally read blogs of friends or specific posts friends sent from other blogs.)  But this friend had been sharing that she struggled maintaining the LORD's perspective of thankfulness and that this blog (of Ann Voskamp) helped her.  Considering, I slumped into sadness the evening before, I decided it would be good to be refreshed on a thankful perspective before spending time with God at the coffee shop.  Ann's post on Sept. 18 took my breath away!  I was so moved to be in step with the Spirit.  It's been something I've been striving for consciously recently, but to read hear of another fellow believer have a sense of victory in this area was motivating.  I basically ran out the door, grabbing a book on worship to read and drink deeply of, and rushed off to the coffee shop.  On the way over, I thought about the points of insight the LORD had shared with me so far that day - in my personal time with Him in the morning, during our Sunday School class, and during the sermon.  Because of how inpactful Ann's blog was on me and because I have these insights that I don't feel like I have an outlet for, the idea of starting my own blog crossed my mind!  If only a few people can be encouraged in their walks with Christ by only a few of my posts, like I was, it would be worth it.  When I got to the coffee shop, the barista asked, "How are you?"  I responded, "Good."  AND I MEANT it!  That's the first time I've FELT "GOOD" in a long time.  (Though I've been trying to LEARN the TRUTH of JOY for years now:)).  I sat with my white hot chocolate and journal and scribbled all the exciting thoughts going through me head.  I wanted to ask God if it was just my fleshly idea to do a blog or Spirit inspired.  I sensed Him saying that as long as I keep the focus on proclaiming the insights He's guided me to and am sensitive to it not taking time away from the other responsibilities He's entrusted me with, it would be disobedient not to pursue it at this point!  


I had jotted down some of the phrases that have stuck with me lately (which I used as my subtitle, "Abide in Love, etc." and on the drive home (I couldn't get home fast enough to get started!) the phrase "Teach Me" came to mind as  a Title, then Teach Me To.  They weren't available, but Lord Teach Me To was.  I was hesitant to have "Lord" in the title as not to "scare away" non-believers, but since sharing deep insights with believers serious about walking more intimately with Jesus was my focus, it seemed weak not to.  Then the alliteration of "Lord Let Me Learn" came to mind and I like how that has a more humble tone and a tone of the learning "process" as I learn something initially but then the LORD continues bringing it to mind and bringing opportunities that enable me to actually learn and put into practice what He's been teaching.  So, LORD, Please Let Me Learn...