LORD, help me know what's going on with my emotions and hormones.
LORD, help me know how to deal with them and how to honor You in them.
I wrote these sentences in my journal this morning after three pages of processing and tears.
And then my blog came to mind. Last week, my aunt suggested I start a blog about home schooling for all these parents who are finding themselves unexpectedly home schooling since schools have closed for COVID-19.
I don't think she knows I have this little blog. The idea did intrigue me a bit and I started a post in my head a couple of times. But last week I was really "off." I had real low energy and low motivation, feeling quite inadequate to write such a blog post and sure that someone else had already written one much better than I could.
As I cried out to the LORD in my journal this morning though, I felt a cloud lift and the motivation to go upstairs to get the laptop and start writing.
After all, "I am a tooth." God has wired me to be an external processor, who delights in sharing God's truth.
So, how can I make sense of my emotions and hormones and know which is which? How can I honor God in the midst of the mire? Write it out, baby.
As my cloudy mind wrestles to know what to think about COVID-19 and how much to stock up on groceries and whether one extra package of toilet paper is reasonable or am I missing something and should make sure I have four...or more!?!...and how to be a good steward of our dwindling finances as our income has already been affected significantly...I am reminded that "verbally" processing is good for me. When God's truth isn't coming easily to my heart or mind, I need to preach the Gospel to myself as if I'm seeking to help someone else out of their muck and mire. (Psalm 40:1-3)
So, here I will try to briefly articulate some of what the LORD has been teaching this learner...
I am going through a Bible study on James called "Steadfast" By: Courtney Doctor. I just finished chapter three about being steadfast in good works as fruit of our faith.
Our Pastor announced yesterday that the women's Bible study would be suspended due to COVID-19, but that the ladies were encouraged to continue studying and that he couldn't imagine a better book to be studying right now than one called "Steadfast."
His comment reminded me of the introduction of James, where the theme "steadfast" is introduced and the word itself is used 3 times in the first 12 verses.
James 1:3,4 - "for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:12 - "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."
Well, I certainly have felt like I've been blown and tossed by the wind (James 1:6) this past week and have not clung to a steadfast faith that will have its full effect and produce the crown of life.
LORD, teach me to have joy when I meet the trials of this coming week.
Remind me that trials trigger the knowledge of the completion to maturity (James 1:3,4) and the blessed crown of life that are promised to us (James 1:12) through faith in the faithfulness of Christ, which has already been accomplished in His death and resurrection. My steadfastness is rooted in His faithfulness.
LORD, thank you that this truth, and my articulating this truth, has helped draw me out of the miry bog ("...and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40:2). May the truth of Your Word here help others to have a new song of praise in their mouth to you as well. (Psalm 40:3)
