Wednesday, October 26, 2011 - Hesitancy, Talk with God
This isn't necessarily a "surrender" lesson, but it's what was on my heart this morning. Yesterday, I posted about the Teen Parents ministry our family is getting involved in. It's interesting I even use the term "is getting" because we committed to it at the beginning of the summer and have gone almost every week to serve in one form or another since then. Even as the ministry and girls and guys and kids are heavy on my heart, I still feel a disconnect. So, I asked God,
"Can you shed light on my hesitancy?"
"Is it from myself or from You?"
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
I have failed in the past by trying to be "The Rescuer" (trying to meet needs only Christ can) and have been burned by not having healthy boundaries in my own heart/mind/life. I want to be a healthy influence in their lives and not be an enabler, nor be used, nor be burned out. I want to walk in wisdom, but I'm hesitant because I don't know what I'm getting myself into, I feel ill-equipped, and I don't know how much ministering in this avenue is going to take from me - time, emotions, money and I don't know how much it should. I don't have a grasp on the balance between boundaries and sacrifice.
"Keep your eyes and heart open, stay in step with Me."
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