I was at a frozen yogurt shop last night. I noticed a woman who was the mom of a little girl I taught swim lessons to. She's a runner. She's cute and trendy. She was sitting with 4 other 30 something ladies, presumably friends, all "attractive and modern"...and it sparked in me this DESIRE. This aching desire that keeps appearing and causing me to long for sweet times of unhindered fun with friends. I don't believe there is anything wrong with this desire. The only problem with that feeling was that I WAS WALKING OUT WITH THREE OTHER 30 SOMETHING LADIES WHOM I HAD JUST HAD A LOVELY TIME OF SWEET TRUE FELLOWSHIP WITH!!! I WAS WANTING SOMETHING THE LORD HAD JUST GIVEN ME!!! Ugh! How the enemy can so easily deceive our weak hearts! How he can stir in me this discontentment SO QUICKLY. Why and how does this happen? THANK YOU, LORD, that You enabled me to recognize the falsehood just as quickly and to process it in a way to uproot the ugliness and plant in Your nurturing Truth!
I remember a friend of mine in college talking with me about the "phantom woman." The one who has it all and does it all and is so godly...the one who DOESN'T EXIST but we strive to be! I think the picture of "suave popularity" is a phantom in my life. But where does THAT come from and why is it there? Is it really still lingering from my desire as a 12 year old for popularity? What is popularity? To know and be known? For attention, affection, approval? But with "popularity" usually comes a compromise of character, purity...of godliness. I certainly don't want THAT! Maybe before I knew Christ at age 15 (knowing who He is, not just what He's done), but now I am confident that compared to knowing Christ (and living in His righteousness) all other things are rubbish (Philippians 3). Or do I? I know it in my head, I even believe it in my heart...so why am I so easily persuaded to think the lie of the enemy?
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." (Colossians 3:2)
Does discontentment come because our minds are set on earthly things? If my heart was soaring with gratitude for time of fellowship with friends (which would have been a genuine feeling!), would there even have been room for the discontentment to sneak in? Is discontentment birthed because we believe the grass is greener on the other side; we believe God is withholding good from us? (Psalm 84:11)
LORD, Please, Let me learn: To be thankful, content (a contentment of feeling fulfilled!)
To set my mind on things above
To rest in Your Goodness
To recognize what You DO GIVE ME and Delight in it!
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