Failure and Grace

An email following up my falter in my Lent commitment:

Dear Friend,

I guess I failed at Eph. 4:29 again already today – I have a feeling I didn’t leave you feeling built up and I have a feeling I didn’t benefit your walk with Christ if I left you feeling guilty.  A skilled teacher is able to meet someone where they are and help them take the next step.  I’m still having my skills refined.  I think Beth is much better there than I am.  I am too quick to see people’s potential, that I think I don’t assess where they are as well.   But know that was my intention – using the lent season to help us grow in the area of the words of our mouth; what I hoped to communicate was “wherever God had you there” not “what it looks like for me”  OR if God had another aspect of your “process of holiness” for you to sacrifice in this season in order to better embrace the sacrifice of Christ (because I know that’s a weakness of mine and I think for others as well).  I just think we can get overwhelmed by all of our areas of unrighteousness that it can be beneficial to focus on just one for the 40 days of lent in hopes that it breaks the bad habits and builds new ones, to refine us to look more like that Savior who sacrificed His Life on our behalf.  Hope that explains more of where I’m coming from and helps relieve the guilt that Jesus does NOT want to be there!

In His Grip of Grace as He picks me up from my falter,

Love Always,

~jill><>

And a follow-up thought on this!

40 Days of Surrender - Day 30

Wednesday, November 9, 2011 - Surrender Perfectionism

Amongst the growing List of "Things to Do," I regularly have in the back of my mind "Post a new lesson."  And with that comes the thought that "I'm behind."  I have missed a day here and a couple of days there and so looking back on my 40 days, I will not have a record for each day.

And then the "still, small Voice:" Surrender Perfectionism.

Sigh...

Yes, having something recorded for EVERY day of my Fast would fall under the Idol of Perfectionism.

And thus the lesson the Holy Spirit brought to mind - God's desire for our striving of "Perfect" is in Character and Command - Faithful Obedience to the Commands of God and striving for the Character of Holiness, that we might be Holy as He is Holy (Lev. 11:44, 1 Peter 1:16).

Having a "perfect" record of this Fast is neither an issue of my holiness, nor a command from the LORD.

Hmmm...this is a helpful distinction for me.  When I feel that itching for something to be "perfect," I can ask: Is this an issue of my Character of Holiness, a Command of God, or just a personal preference that I'm turning into a idol of worship (expending more energy and attention to that what God would have of me)?


For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.

40 Days of Surrender - Day 13

Saturday, October 22, 2011 - Surrender Ease, Comfort

This morning - email that Mother in Law may have lung cancer for the third time...in laws' dear Christian neighbor in her late 70's lying weak & bed-ridden with bone cancer...the timing of my morning not going as I thought it would...none following the "smooth" plan we plan for ourselves...all suffering to (very) varying degrees. All calls to surrender our striving for ease and comfort.  We don't need to go and look for suffering; living in the Post Eden World is enough to live with suffering (whatever varying degree it might be that life is not matching up to your "smooth" plan.)  Does anyone plan out their course to be intentionally difficult?

My study of 1 Peter is continually reminding me that we are exiles in this Post Eden World and we shouldn't feel comfortable.  Maybe when we feel comfortable we should ask "What's wrong?" instead of when we face suffering.

For the first 5 years of my marriage, it would rock my world when my DH would (unintentionally) do things that made my life "not easy."  My perspective was that having a husband would make my life more comfortable, rather than adding difficulty to it.  Grace would be slow because his action (or lackthereof) was an assault on my striving for ease and comfort.  In this last year, the LORD has been refining that perspective and I am starting to learn how to surrender the striving for ease and comfort.  This morning I was reminded that life is not so much about "smoothness" but about SUFFERING WELL, and that involves surrendering ease and comfort and ABOUNDing IN THANKSGIVING.


For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.

Perfect is the enemy of...

...Good Enough.

My husband is a structural engineer - he puts complicated math equations to big hunks of concrete to make buildings stand up.  He lives by the motto: "Perfect is the enemy of good enough."  As he's calculating, he could spend lots of time (and time = money) to come up with the strongEST, cheapEST, most "perfect" combination when a strong enough, cost effective calculation is "good enough."  People are safe without costing too much on the manufacturer; to spend more time to make it perfect could cost enough more money that it's NOT worth it to be "perfect."

My dear husband has helped me apply this principle on the home front as well.  As a recovering perfectionist, I'm learning when good enough is good enough.

I was journaling yesterday morning.  I was processing with the LORD about something specific. It related to timing on when to do something and how best to go about it.  I was thinking of how there is what I consider the "right way," which would be the "perfect" way, following the plan to the "T."  But for this recovering perfectionist who has followed a similar plan to the "T" before, that was quite overwhelming and I wasn't sure I wanted to commit to THAT.  I wrote in my journal, "I guess if I am spending money to do it, I might as well 'do it right' or at least 'do it well.'"  And then my mind (a.k.a the Holy Spirit, sometimes:)) took me on a rabbit trail (the thought processes that are exactly why this blog outlet is a blessing to me:))...Writing the word "Well" made me think of Matthew 25:21,23 "Well done, good and faithful servant...."

No where in that passage is the master asking for perfection.  The servant is commended for being faithful, for being good, for "doing well."

This specific instance I was processing with the LORD is not connected to an area of sin or even a character issue.  It does involve staying in step with the Spirit, a heart of obedience, and a sensitivity to the LORD, but shouldn't all things!?!

It made me think of the process of sanctification that we are all in.  The word "process" implies in and of itself that there is going to be imperfection.  How freeing!  Not that that is an excuse TO sin (Romans 6:1,2), but in the instances where we step out on our own strength instead of walking with the Spirit, when our rebellious hearts choose our own way instead of submitting in obedience, when I am not being sensitive to the LORD's presence - in those times of the PROCESS, I can cling to GRACE instead of feeling defeated by the enemy of perfectionism.  I can pause, take a deep breath in the present presence of The Great I AM and get back in step with the Spirit, remembering Titus 3:5.