In His Grip of Grace

Follow - up thoughts from a email of confession.

As I was meditating on my sign off in the email “In His Grip of Grace as He picks me up from my falter” I just realized, maybe this 40 days will be more a lesson of God’s grace than on my tongue!  Maybe He led me to an area that He knows I will fail at regularly so I will regularly have to turn to His Grace – which was at the root of the cross, the object in which I want to better embrace during this Lenten season! 

Maybe I should have “given up” chocolate, that would have been so much easier!  Oh my, there I go again, saying something that could offend someone…what I mean is that giving up chocolate would be easier for me, it’s no judgment on anyone who genuinely gave up chocolate.  That can be a true addiction that can lead someone to meditate on the sacrifice of Christ time and again as they are faced with that temptation!  Phew…It’s all about You, Jesus, all about You!

Divorce and Deceit

It happened again, I heard of a pastor (whom I respect), telling a wife that she had grounds for a divorce.  Sexual immorality...porn addiction.  "Every time he looked, he broke his vow."

My heart breaks for her, for her situation and for her pastoral advice.  And my heart breaks for God - for how His marriage covenant - the promise, the commitment - has become so tainted over the centuries and is barely even recognized as a covenant in modern society, even Christian society, among His people.  

To clarify up front, this is NOT a condemnation for the divorced nor a condoning of sexual immorality; for we all are probably friends with someone divorced and many of us affected by the pain and brokenness of divorce.  “He who is sinless cast the first stone;” (John 8) I do not stand as judge nor can I stand as judge (I believe my sin of harsh, disrespectful words and the ways he fails to fully love me are just as ugly sins in God’s eyes – physical adultery and adultery with words both offend God’s holy design for marriage).  And yet there is A Judge who has established the standard for marriage, even created it to model the relationship He has with His people.  

I only want to voice how I see the Bible portraying marriage and divorce in hopes to spark in people's minds a transformed (Rom 12:2- not conformed to the pattern of this world) understanding that maybe, just maybe will be a spark that starts a radical passion for marriage that flames strong in The Church, fighting against the deceit the crafty serpent has demised. 

So, God creating marriage to model His relationship with His people…and that is modeled after the union He has in the Trinity! (Genesis 2, Ephesians 5)

So what does God’s relationship with His people look like?  He extends His covenantal love, grace, forgiveness, faithfulness, protection, provision to an appreciative, faithful, loving people – right?  No! - He again and again reaches out to an ungrateful, faithless, idolatrous/adulterous, grumbling group of people.  His people (Israel and The Church – think Peter, Saul) sin against Him and each other regularly, not just every once in a while.  And He forgives them and embraces them in His covenantal love each time – no doubt with sadness, even anger…but the picture of our God is to initiate toward us in our sin…and yet again.  (cf. Hosea)

Is this the picture - the model - the people of God are giving as a witness of God’s love to the watching world?

I think most would agree, “No.”

When my best friend from high school was separated from her husband and contemplating divorce, as one who stood as a witness to her marriage covenant vow, I was motivated to seek what the Bible really says about divorce (as opposed to what our itching ears have become accustomed to hearing these days – 2 Timothy 4:3).

That study can be found HERE.

Bible Study of Divorce and Adultery

This is a follow-up post from a post "Divorce and Deceit".

When my best friend from high school was separated from her husband and contemplating divorce, as one who stood as a witness to her marriage covenant vow, I was motivated to seek what the Bible really says about divorce (as opposed to what we our itching ears have become accustomed to hearing these days – 2 Timothy 4:3).  This is the study that unfolded.  I am aware that it flies in the face of what most Christians I've heard of support, so it may rub you the wrong way.   I'm not looking to be confrontational; I'm looking at what is actually said in the Bible, the immediate context in which it is said, and the broader context of Scripture as Jesus' platform on which He would speak on divorce.  I'd be honored if you considered the exegesis without dismissing it because it's not "common teaching."

For the Glory of CHRIST and HIS CHURCH!!!

Matthew 5:27-32   ²⁷ "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'  ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.  ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.  ³¹ "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'  ³² But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

q  Man divorces wife, makes her commit adultery

q  Man marries a divorced woman, he commits adultery.

Ø     Why does he make her commit adultery?  He leaves her alone (in that culture a woman being  alone leaves her pretty useless,) so it is almost necessary for  her to remarry, but if she does, she commits adultery because she is still joined to her husband in God’s eyes.  That is why the husband would make her/ cause her to commit adultery.

Ø     Why does a man commit adultery if he marries a divorced woman?  Because God still considers her married to her first husband.

Ø     Why does a man not make her commit adultery on the grounds of sexual immorality?  Because when she was sexual immoral, she committed adultery on her own, he did not make her.

  I don’t think this is a justification for divorce, but a clarification of the adultery labeling.

 Matthew 19:3-12   ³ And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?"  ⁴ He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,  ⁵ and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'?  ⁶ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  ⁷ They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?"  ⁸ He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." 

q  Man divorces wife, marries another, commits adultery.

Ø     Clarification: “marries another” – that second union is what causes adultery to be committed against the first spouse.

Ø     Could it be that he does not commit adultery by divorcing his wife and marrying another because he has already committed adultery through his sexual immorality?

This verse is different than Matt. 5 because it refers to him committing  adultery instead of making her. OR does he not commit adultery against her because she has already committed adultery against him with her sexual immorality?  Who’s sexual immorality is highlighted here?

Luke 16:18   ¹⁸ "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

q     Man divorces wife, marries another, commits adultery.

q     Man marries a divorced woman, he commits adultery.

Mark 10:2-12   ² And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"  ³ He answered them, "What did Moses command you?"  ⁴ They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away."  ⁵ And Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.  ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.'  ⁷ 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,  ⁸ and they shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh.  ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  ¹⁰ And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.  ¹¹ And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,  ¹² and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

q     Man divorces wife, marries another, commits adultery.

q     Wife divorces her husband, marries another, she commits adultery.

Ø     All bases covered: Man divorcing wife, wife divorcing man, and man marrying divorced wife = adultery because Jesus reminds us in these passages of God’s original intent for marriage that has been distorted through hardness of heart.  God joins two together in marriage to become one and does not separate that union except through death. (Rom. 7)

Ø     No “except for sexual immorality” in Mark or Luke, must not be the key message of those verses.  If the clause for divorce justification was the intent for those verses, you would think it would be present in each of them, since there would be no other Biblical support for it.  The Matthew verses stand alone for the supposed “justification of divorce on the grounds of adultery,” thus maybe that is not their intended message.

First 'God Revelation'

DD 23 months was sitting in her high chair at dinner showing us the "huut" (hurt) on her pinky finger.  Dear Brother, 4, is quick to inform her that God will heal her owey (and that's pretty cute in and of itself).  And DD says "Godt" for the first time and starts looking around and turns around to look out the patio door and looks around some more with a sparkle in her eye and hopeful anticipation for Godt to come and heal her "huut"!

May the great anticipation of our Healer continue to grow and keep the sparkle in her eye!

Like Mother, Like Son

As I was praying for DS4 tonight, he sat up in bed and said, "Mom, do you know where such and such clothes are?"  I can't remember what clothes he asked for specifically, but it was probably his red shorts and shirt because he has been obsessed with them, even though it's the middle of winter!  He's pretending to be a basketball player (our hometown team color is red.)  I say, that they are in the dirty hamper and he says, "Maybe I can wash them in the morning real quick and then dry them real quick!" 


This especially struck me as funny because when I was in 6th grade I got upset with my mom for washing something I didn't want her to wash because I wanted to wear it again.  My dad said, "If you're going to talk to your mother that way, you can do your own laundry."  And I have been ever since.

Now my son wasn't angry with me but it made me chuckle that we both were particular about our laundry and ready to take it into our own hands!

Not a real "spiritual" lesson, I don't think, but a cute story I wanted to record nonetheless!

First lesson in Spiritual Warfare

... Continued from Blessing for Blessing.

So yesterday, (see link above) was a special day.  A day of obedience, a day of peace, a day of blessing.

This morning started off fine, I was getting ready in my room, the kids playing on the bed and it started - the whining...(see link above)

So I took this opportunity to teach DS4 his first official lesson in spiritual warfare.

Hey, Buddy!  Do you know who the snake in The Garden was?

uhhhh...shake of head...Satan?


That's right.  And what did Satan want Adam and Eve to do?

Eat the fruit.


Yes.  Was that obedient or disobedient?

Disobedient.


Right.  And is Satan on God's team or is he God's enemy?

God's enemy.

Right.  Now are you on God's team or God's enemy?

God's team!


So, do you think that Satan wants you to obey or disobey God?

Disobey.

That's right.  Did you have a really obedient day yesterday?


Yes.


And were you blessed for being a blessing?


Yes.


Do you think it made Satan happy that you obeyed God so well?


No.


So, Satan is probably going to really try to tempt you to disobey today.  So, you are going to have to fight against that temptation and really rely on Jesus to help you to obey.


OK, I'm going to fight him and knock his head off!  (LOL, we're still dealing with a four year old here!)

Blessing for Blessing - Little Learners

Thursday of this week (2/16/12), DS4 comes in pretty much first thing in the morning and declares, "I'm going to have a good heart attitude today and not get any discipline!"  I said that would be great and we prayed right then for Jesus to be His strength for self-control.  Within the hour he starts to whine (the main battle of the heart currently).  "Uh-Uh," I gently warn. "You told me you were going to have a good heart attitude today."

He stopped.

That was it.

All day long!

No whining, no arguing, no complaining (No WACing, for short:)).

I usually repeat it all day long.  And this day, not at all.

The draining training of motherhood... (which I do plan on being fruitful and am ever grateful for the resources who have aided me along the way - mainly "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and "Don't Make Me Count to Three")

"I need first time obedience.  I need you to obey all the way, right away, without complaint."  This is the chorus of the day that is sometimes followed by obedience and sometimes followed by discipline.  And I'm aware that maybe this chorus, instead of being a refrain repeated should be the understood tune of the music that plays peacefully in the background - understood and followed without the continual reminder.

So, when our family friend asks if he can accompany her to a college basketball game, I'm inclined to say, "Yes!"  DS4 is really into basketball right now and I knew he would be blessed by this fun excursion. We haven't done anything like this before, but I had a meeting and DH had a project he had to work on so neither us could accompany him.

God blesses us for obedience (Deut. 11:26-27, et al.) and God blesses us in order to be a blessing (Genesis 12).

I have been blessed, my son was a blessing today, I wanted to bless him in return.

He thoroughly enjoyed the basketball game.  He was enamored and when asked what his favorite part was (choosing among popcorn and his picture with the mascot and the funny blow up guy who "ate" the basketball player), his answer was, "Watching them play basketball."

Blessing for blessing for blessing.

Jesus to DS - giving him the strength for self-control; DS to me; me to DS.  Thank you, LORD Jesus for making it all possible!