How do I articulate this?
I tried at our Mom-2-Mom last Thursday (March 1, 2012) and I really feel I botched it, so I'm going to try in written form...
It's the articulation of where I am in my Christian walk. What I learning from God right now. But how do I say it without sounding self-debasing or self-righteous, over-analytical or judgmental?
I want to know Christ, I want to live out His righteousness...(Philippians 3:8ff) But to say that implies that I don't and does that come across as arrogant or belittling to someone who views me more spiritually mature than themself? "If she doesn't think she knows Christ, then she must think I really know nothing." No, no, no not at all! No, I feel like I am the babe in Christ, learning how to drink this basic spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2): Knowing Christ, living out His righteousness instead of my own "assets" (Philippians 3:7 - do I really!?! my pride deceives me!!!) I may have been able to articulate truths for my Theology 404 class that my heart hasn't fully embraced yet. Yes, yes I know & deeply believe the truths of His life and death and resurrection...this Easter, I want to really know it. What does that take? I think that takes many Selahs. And the Selahs of the failures of fasting in Lent may just help with that.
A new Lesson to Learn for the Adventure.
For me, it's been 31 years of breathing on this earth and 16 years of those knowing Christ as my personal LORD and Savior.
16 years of hiking the mountain with God - first three years: very slowly, very flat terrain, establishing myself as a committed hiker; the next four years during college: charging that mountain, gaining a significant working knowledge of that mountain, being captivated by the breath-taking views, growing stronger by the dryness of the valleys, enjoying to minor peaks as I keep looking toward that Ultimate Peak of Heaven; two year post college: more peaks, more navigation skills, still quick pace, learning some of the finer tuned skills - growing in heart knowledge and not just head knowledge, finally committed to daily learning from The Guide Book; the last seven years: more dry valleys, more rocky terrain, more heart knowledge, more opportunities to apply the head and heart knowledge, more slips, stumbles, scrapes, blood, bruises - a more seasoned hiker to weather the storms but maybe also able to see the Hope of the Peak a little more clearly through the fog.
So, is this where God has me now after 16 years? (For the timing and pace and lessons and challenges and victories and even smaller goals of everyone's journey to the Ultimate Peak is so very vastly different!) We all start the journey on this "Jesus Mountain" with the Maker-Messiah Himself. And depending on our background and personalities and opportunities to learn and what type of learners we are etc, etc, depends on how much and how often we take the lead and when we let the Maker-Messiah navigate for us. How well do we listen to Him or do we think have been anointed the one to figure out this path now that The True Anointed One has gotten us started?
It has been my experience that echoes the stories of Scripture that the more we stay in step with the Maker-Messiah the more peaceful our trip, even when we have to weather storms.
But oh, that is so hard for this self-sufficient traveler!
So, I think this is where Maker-Messiah has me -- during this Lenten season -- at a place where I want to have a deeper understanding in my heart of hearts of my sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and the significance of that sacrifice. Oh what deep lessons that will take a life-time to continue to wrap my heart around!
John Piper's The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came and Died has been a resource I've tried to slowly work through to break down the self-sufficiency of my heart.
I did not Make me or any of my talents and I did not Save me nor do I sanctify myself in any way. Hmmm...that mysterious process of sanctification...I know in my head that it is all because of Christ's work, but my heart lives as if something of the sanctification part of salvation relies on my work..."work out your salvation" says Philippians 2:12. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," says Philippians 2:13. It's a both and.
Maybe it has something to do with Tim Keller's words in the "Heart: Three Ways to Live" section of "Gospel in Life": "We need to not only repent of the bad things that we do, but we need to repent of the reasons we do good things."
"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (Proverbs 16:2) Oh, how it seems like even the good things I do and want to do are tainted with impure motives or reasons. Purify me, LORD Jesus, purify me!!!
So maybe if I stay more in step with my Guide on the mountainous trails of life, I will see more clearly the path -- maybe I will want to stay away from the sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and maybe just maybe I will understand more His righteousness that I can receive through the power of His resurrection and maybe when I slip and stumble on the rocks (temptations to sin in thought, word, or action!) of the trail, I will know they were necessary to point me back to my Guide & Savior - the Only One who can & did walk the trail without slipping in order to save us and thus is the Only One I should link arms with as I navigate this Jesus Mountain called "life". It's this truth of the Grace of Christ in the midst of Failure that seems to be the key Lesson of the LORD for me on this path of the Jesus Mountain.
The Jesus Mountain is Glorious no matter which trail you are on - the beginning trail head holds so much Glorious anticipation, the steady climb gives you opportunity to enjoy His Glorious scenery, the rocky terrain & valleys gives you opportunity to cling to the Glorious One into whose Glory you are climbing! Keep hiking fellow traveler! Keep hiking in Him and through Him and for Him (Romans 11:36)!
Showing posts with label Selah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Selah. Show all posts
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Surrender Productivity Refreshed (and some Selahs, too!)
40 Days of Surrender - Day 100 - Surrender Productivity
Year of Selah - *Holiness, Godliness*
Ironically, today is 100 days after I committed to a 40 day fast of surrendering sinful habits in my life (arguing, depression, self-sufficiency, perfectionism, harsh tongue, etc, etc.)
Today, actually it was yesterday, (see other post for "Today's Lesson") the LORD opened a door for a refreshed surrender of productivity in my heart (and hopefully it will become a habit in my life!) Productivity is an idol that I have had identified for a few years now. And as the battle of the flesh and spirit works (my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak - Mt. 26:41; cf. Gal. 5:16,17), I've taken two steps forward, one step back for a lot of those years. And yesterday was a new chiseling in my heart and breaking away of a thought process that has been justifying my bending the knee to the temptation of productivity so many times.
You see, I learned in a (respectable) bible study back in 2002 that God calls us to "Rule, subdue, and produce". I was in 2 Peter 3:11-13 yesterday when I was struck - "we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells". And Peter exhorts his readers: "...what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness...." Righteousness, holiness, godliness...this is so much the message of Peter in both his letters as well as an apparent goal THROUGHOUT SCRIPTURE!!! Why then does my mind/heart so quickly seek to "rule (have the authority/have "The Say"), subdue (have control), and produce (be productive, accomplish)"!?! Are we really called to that; how does holiness and godliness fit into the goals of ruling, subduing, and producing that often lead to my sinful expressions of pride, control, and "fulfillment" through "doing"?
This is what I was able to articulate yesterday:
Rule, Subdue, Produce --> God's instructional goals in Genesis 1 PRIOR TO THE FALL
Now living POST FALL, we need to FIGHT FOR that COMMUNION WITH GOD we automatically had with Him in The Garden, PRIOR to THE FALL.
It seems accurate to say "Rule, Subdue, Produce" is now trumped by (not having replaced, but is more of a priority): Submit (to God's Authority as our fleshly nature now strives for self-sufficiency), Surrender (Giving up the striving to be in control, the striving to be God (Eve's ultimate sin!)), Be Sanctified (Add to Faith, Virtue (2 Peter 1:5); Be holy (1 Peter 1:14-16); allow God to make you look more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18; Eph. 4:22-24).
So, thankfully, the LORD brought to mind a few times yesterday the goal of "holiness and godliness" over my current innate goal for productivity (especially during this time that I am overwhelmed by downsizing to prepare for my father-in-law to move in). Not a perfect day, but I think a successful one - One in which God might say, "Well done, my faithful daughter. I'm proud of you for remembering that your heart attitude and your tone with your children and husband and staying communed with Me and them is more important than getting irritated that the laundry is not put away in a week, the paperwork pile is still full, and the dust on the tops and the crumbs on the floor are painfully obvious."
And that is a faithfulness to my Year of Selah as well! Pausing and reflecting on things above; not being swept away my the overwhelmingness of the things on earth.
Thank you, LORD Jesus, Thank YOU.
Conclusion of Part 1
See Here for Part 2
Year of Selah - *Holiness, Godliness*
Ironically, today is 100 days after I committed to a 40 day fast of surrendering sinful habits in my life (arguing, depression, self-sufficiency, perfectionism, harsh tongue, etc, etc.)
Today, actually it was yesterday, (see other post for "Today's Lesson") the LORD opened a door for a refreshed surrender of productivity in my heart (and hopefully it will become a habit in my life!) Productivity is an idol that I have had identified for a few years now. And as the battle of the flesh and spirit works (my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak - Mt. 26:41; cf. Gal. 5:16,17), I've taken two steps forward, one step back for a lot of those years. And yesterday was a new chiseling in my heart and breaking away of a thought process that has been justifying my bending the knee to the temptation of productivity so many times.
You see, I learned in a (respectable) bible study back in 2002 that God calls us to "Rule, subdue, and produce". I was in 2 Peter 3:11-13 yesterday when I was struck - "we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells". And Peter exhorts his readers: "...what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness...." Righteousness, holiness, godliness...this is so much the message of Peter in both his letters as well as an apparent goal THROUGHOUT SCRIPTURE!!! Why then does my mind/heart so quickly seek to "rule (have the authority/have "The Say"), subdue (have control), and produce (be productive, accomplish)"!?! Are we really called to that; how does holiness and godliness fit into the goals of ruling, subduing, and producing that often lead to my sinful expressions of pride, control, and "fulfillment" through "doing"?
This is what I was able to articulate yesterday:
Rule, Subdue, Produce --> God's instructional goals in Genesis 1 PRIOR TO THE FALL
Now living POST FALL, we need to FIGHT FOR that COMMUNION WITH GOD we automatically had with Him in The Garden, PRIOR to THE FALL.
It seems accurate to say "Rule, Subdue, Produce" is now trumped by (not having replaced, but is more of a priority): Submit (to God's Authority as our fleshly nature now strives for self-sufficiency), Surrender (Giving up the striving to be in control, the striving to be God (Eve's ultimate sin!)), Be Sanctified (Add to Faith, Virtue (2 Peter 1:5); Be holy (1 Peter 1:14-16); allow God to make you look more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18; Eph. 4:22-24).
So, thankfully, the LORD brought to mind a few times yesterday the goal of "holiness and godliness" over my current innate goal for productivity (especially during this time that I am overwhelmed by downsizing to prepare for my father-in-law to move in). Not a perfect day, but I think a successful one - One in which God might say, "Well done, my faithful daughter. I'm proud of you for remembering that your heart attitude and your tone with your children and husband and staying communed with Me and them is more important than getting irritated that the laundry is not put away in a week, the paperwork pile is still full, and the dust on the tops and the crumbs on the floor are painfully obvious."
And that is a faithfulness to my Year of Selah as well! Pausing and reflecting on things above; not being swept away my the overwhelmingness of the things on earth.
Thank you, LORD Jesus, Thank YOU.
Conclusion of Part 1
See Here for Part 2
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Year of Selah - *Gratitude*
It was a full morning as DS turned 4! French Toast, new watch, train track set up, get ready to go to the Children's Museum, play in the farm, in the pizza parlor, in the doctor's office, in the tunnels...and then to lunch next door at Noodles and Company. It was after noon before I had my first Selah of the day - hmmm - how I'd like to grow in this habit so it happens more often than THAT...but thankful it happened nonetheless.
As I sat there at a slowed paced with a kid on each side, I was overwhelmed by GRATITUDE - I could afford the $16 for us to eat lunch in a restaurant where I didn't have to prepare the food or clean up afterward and could sit and enjoy my kids! It was the Gift of Selah and the Gift of Gratitude in one! And as I write this I realize the Gift of Joy is still elusive; I think because of the weight of all I have to get done before Father-In-Law moves in.
Hmmm...is it always the weight, the feeling of being overwhelmed that threatens to and downright does steal my joy? And that's what it is - it is a feeling - as DH gently reminded me the other day..."Don't let the "Feeling Caboose" drive the train." Why do I carry around such weights; do I really get overwhelmed regularly?
As I sat there at a slowed paced with a kid on each side, I was overwhelmed by GRATITUDE - I could afford the $16 for us to eat lunch in a restaurant where I didn't have to prepare the food or clean up afterward and could sit and enjoy my kids! It was the Gift of Selah and the Gift of Gratitude in one! And as I write this I realize the Gift of Joy is still elusive; I think because of the weight of all I have to get done before Father-In-Law moves in.
Hmmm...is it always the weight, the feeling of being overwhelmed that threatens to and downright does steal my joy? And that's what it is - it is a feeling - as DH gently reminded me the other day..."Don't let the "Feeling Caboose" drive the train." Why do I carry around such weights; do I really get overwhelmed regularly?
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Jesus speaking in Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)
Yes, Rest, Pause, Selah...my soul cries out...LORD, please, Let Me Learn what this means!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Year of Selah
Two years ago (2010), I sat in North Carolina at the turn of the year and prayed for my two themes of the year: Peace and Joy.
Two year later, the prayer and pursuing of Peace has been answered and that is a state of heart I experience regularly.
2011, "Joy" or rather the desire for, was a theme and it feels like it's still something that eludes me. In God's faithfulness He has taught me and brought that theme up often in the learning process. Ann Voskamp's website www.aholyexperience.com and her emphasis on giving thanks in order to live in the presence of joy has been something I've been trying to grow in. Another author I had read previously in the year also hit on this truth that I have been implementing...I would say it's in the seedling stages.
Upon reading Ann Voskamp's site I have also learned that for the last handful of years, she has named her years. That's kind of what I have been doing the last two years, but I thought I might formalize this year...The year of ...
The Year of Joy seemed to make sense. But as I was making the bed, a phrase came to me and it's stuck...
The Year of Selah...
Selah is a Hebrew word, often found in Psalms. The closest meaning they can ascribe to it is "Pause, Reflect." I think this correlates well will some of Ann's other premises that have resonated with me; her emphasis on living in the moment, to be "here" in order to live life fully, to not rush through life, but be with the Giver of Life (& Joy).
Two year later, the prayer and pursuing of Peace has been answered and that is a state of heart I experience regularly.
2011, "Joy" or rather the desire for, was a theme and it feels like it's still something that eludes me. In God's faithfulness He has taught me and brought that theme up often in the learning process. Ann Voskamp's website www.aholyexperience.com and her emphasis on giving thanks in order to live in the presence of joy has been something I've been trying to grow in. Another author I had read previously in the year also hit on this truth that I have been implementing...I would say it's in the seedling stages.
Upon reading Ann Voskamp's site I have also learned that for the last handful of years, she has named her years. That's kind of what I have been doing the last two years, but I thought I might formalize this year...The year of ...
The Year of Joy seemed to make sense. But as I was making the bed, a phrase came to me and it's stuck...
The Year of Selah...
Selah is a Hebrew word, often found in Psalms. The closest meaning they can ascribe to it is "Pause, Reflect." I think this correlates well will some of Ann's other premises that have resonated with me; her emphasis on living in the moment, to be "here" in order to live life fully, to not rush through life, but be with the Giver of Life (& Joy).
"For you make him most blessed forever; you
make him glad with the joy of your presence.” (Psalms 21:6)
If I begin the practice...to develop the habit...especially in those times where I am frustrated, rushed, impatient, irritable...Selah - Pause, Reflect - Am I in the presence of The Almighty? Do I have my mind set on things above, not on earthly things? (Colossians 3:2) Am I allowing the joy of the LORD to be my strength (Nehemiah 8:10), or I am striving to be self-sufficient?...maybe, just maybe, this pausing and reflecting will keep me from getting distracted from The Giver of Joy for so long...maybe, just maybe experiencing Joy will be a regular habit that overflows from me to share the Gift of Joy with others more freely!
May The Year of Selah bring the Gift of Pause, Reflect, Experiencing Joy!
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