It took four days to figure it out and yet I thought I was prepared to see it coming!
We had a guest preacher at church this morning, who happens to be a personal friend of ours. He preached a dynamic message on Matthew 4:1-11. Since the passage is about Jesus' temptation with Satan, it was one of those messages that really exposes the Devil for who and how he is...he doesn't like that one bit.
So, I let our friend know afterward that I would be praying against spiritual warfare for him this week. His response, "Have you talked to my wife or are you just saying that?" I was just saying it because the LORD had laid that on my heart, but apparently the enemy had been attacking at their house this past week in a preemptive attempt against his preaching on Matthew 4.
As I was explaining to him that I often feel under spiritual attack after I am involved in a Spirit-led proclamation of His Word...and in fact just Tuesday night I was telling DH, "Bible Study of Genesis 1 with the teen moms went really well tonight. As excited as I am about that, I'm not looking forward to the potential spiritual warfare to follow tomorrow." And that's when it dawned on me!
That melancholy mood, that depression I could seem to shake Thursday, Friday, Saturday...THAT was probably due to spiritual warfare. The enemy knew I was expecting it on Wednesday, so he delayed and then zapped my energy, distracted my focus. I couldn't figure it out, but today I am enlightened and maybe next time I can be a learner who learns and applies more quickly!
Showing posts with label Trials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trials. Show all posts
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Jesus Mountain - Adventure of the Christian Life
How do I articulate this?
I tried at our Mom-2-Mom last Thursday (March 1, 2012) and I really feel I botched it, so I'm going to try in written form...
It's the articulation of where I am in my Christian walk. What I learning from God right now. But how do I say it without sounding self-debasing or self-righteous, over-analytical or judgmental?
I want to know Christ, I want to live out His righteousness...(Philippians 3:8ff) But to say that implies that I don't and does that come across as arrogant or belittling to someone who views me more spiritually mature than themself? "If she doesn't think she knows Christ, then she must think I really know nothing." No, no, no not at all! No, I feel like I am the babe in Christ, learning how to drink this basic spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2): Knowing Christ, living out His righteousness instead of my own "assets" (Philippians 3:7 - do I really!?! my pride deceives me!!!) I may have been able to articulate truths for my Theology 404 class that my heart hasn't fully embraced yet. Yes, yes I know & deeply believe the truths of His life and death and resurrection...this Easter, I want to really know it. What does that take? I think that takes many Selahs. And the Selahs of the failures of fasting in Lent may just help with that.
A new Lesson to Learn for the Adventure.
For me, it's been 31 years of breathing on this earth and 16 years of those knowing Christ as my personal LORD and Savior.
16 years of hiking the mountain with God - first three years: very slowly, very flat terrain, establishing myself as a committed hiker; the next four years during college: charging that mountain, gaining a significant working knowledge of that mountain, being captivated by the breath-taking views, growing stronger by the dryness of the valleys, enjoying to minor peaks as I keep looking toward that Ultimate Peak of Heaven; two year post college: more peaks, more navigation skills, still quick pace, learning some of the finer tuned skills - growing in heart knowledge and not just head knowledge, finally committed to daily learning from The Guide Book; the last seven years: more dry valleys, more rocky terrain, more heart knowledge, more opportunities to apply the head and heart knowledge, more slips, stumbles, scrapes, blood, bruises - a more seasoned hiker to weather the storms but maybe also able to see the Hope of the Peak a little more clearly through the fog.
So, is this where God has me now after 16 years? (For the timing and pace and lessons and challenges and victories and even smaller goals of everyone's journey to the Ultimate Peak is so very vastly different!) We all start the journey on this "Jesus Mountain" with the Maker-Messiah Himself. And depending on our background and personalities and opportunities to learn and what type of learners we are etc, etc, depends on how much and how often we take the lead and when we let the Maker-Messiah navigate for us. How well do we listen to Him or do we think have been anointed the one to figure out this path now that The True Anointed One has gotten us started?
It has been my experience that echoes the stories of Scripture that the more we stay in step with the Maker-Messiah the more peaceful our trip, even when we have to weather storms.
But oh, that is so hard for this self-sufficient traveler!
So, I think this is where Maker-Messiah has me -- during this Lenten season -- at a place where I want to have a deeper understanding in my heart of hearts of my sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and the significance of that sacrifice. Oh what deep lessons that will take a life-time to continue to wrap my heart around!
John Piper's The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came and Died has been a resource I've tried to slowly work through to break down the self-sufficiency of my heart.
I did not Make me or any of my talents and I did not Save me nor do I sanctify myself in any way. Hmmm...that mysterious process of sanctification...I know in my head that it is all because of Christ's work, but my heart lives as if something of the sanctification part of salvation relies on my work..."work out your salvation" says Philippians 2:12. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," says Philippians 2:13. It's a both and.
Maybe it has something to do with Tim Keller's words in the "Heart: Three Ways to Live" section of "Gospel in Life": "We need to not only repent of the bad things that we do, but we need to repent of the reasons we do good things."
"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (Proverbs 16:2) Oh, how it seems like even the good things I do and want to do are tainted with impure motives or reasons. Purify me, LORD Jesus, purify me!!!
So maybe if I stay more in step with my Guide on the mountainous trails of life, I will see more clearly the path -- maybe I will want to stay away from the sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and maybe just maybe I will understand more His righteousness that I can receive through the power of His resurrection and maybe when I slip and stumble on the rocks (temptations to sin in thought, word, or action!) of the trail, I will know they were necessary to point me back to my Guide & Savior - the Only One who can & did walk the trail without slipping in order to save us and thus is the Only One I should link arms with as I navigate this Jesus Mountain called "life". It's this truth of the Grace of Christ in the midst of Failure that seems to be the key Lesson of the LORD for me on this path of the Jesus Mountain.
The Jesus Mountain is Glorious no matter which trail you are on - the beginning trail head holds so much Glorious anticipation, the steady climb gives you opportunity to enjoy His Glorious scenery, the rocky terrain & valleys gives you opportunity to cling to the Glorious One into whose Glory you are climbing! Keep hiking fellow traveler! Keep hiking in Him and through Him and for Him (Romans 11:36)!
I tried at our Mom-2-Mom last Thursday (March 1, 2012) and I really feel I botched it, so I'm going to try in written form...
It's the articulation of where I am in my Christian walk. What I learning from God right now. But how do I say it without sounding self-debasing or self-righteous, over-analytical or judgmental?
I want to know Christ, I want to live out His righteousness...(Philippians 3:8ff) But to say that implies that I don't and does that come across as arrogant or belittling to someone who views me more spiritually mature than themself? "If she doesn't think she knows Christ, then she must think I really know nothing." No, no, no not at all! No, I feel like I am the babe in Christ, learning how to drink this basic spiritual milk (1 Peter 2:2): Knowing Christ, living out His righteousness instead of my own "assets" (Philippians 3:7 - do I really!?! my pride deceives me!!!) I may have been able to articulate truths for my Theology 404 class that my heart hasn't fully embraced yet. Yes, yes I know & deeply believe the truths of His life and death and resurrection...this Easter, I want to really know it. What does that take? I think that takes many Selahs. And the Selahs of the failures of fasting in Lent may just help with that.
A new Lesson to Learn for the Adventure.
For me, it's been 31 years of breathing on this earth and 16 years of those knowing Christ as my personal LORD and Savior.
16 years of hiking the mountain with God - first three years: very slowly, very flat terrain, establishing myself as a committed hiker; the next four years during college: charging that mountain, gaining a significant working knowledge of that mountain, being captivated by the breath-taking views, growing stronger by the dryness of the valleys, enjoying to minor peaks as I keep looking toward that Ultimate Peak of Heaven; two year post college: more peaks, more navigation skills, still quick pace, learning some of the finer tuned skills - growing in heart knowledge and not just head knowledge, finally committed to daily learning from The Guide Book; the last seven years: more dry valleys, more rocky terrain, more heart knowledge, more opportunities to apply the head and heart knowledge, more slips, stumbles, scrapes, blood, bruises - a more seasoned hiker to weather the storms but maybe also able to see the Hope of the Peak a little more clearly through the fog.
So, is this where God has me now after 16 years? (For the timing and pace and lessons and challenges and victories and even smaller goals of everyone's journey to the Ultimate Peak is so very vastly different!) We all start the journey on this "Jesus Mountain" with the Maker-Messiah Himself. And depending on our background and personalities and opportunities to learn and what type of learners we are etc, etc, depends on how much and how often we take the lead and when we let the Maker-Messiah navigate for us. How well do we listen to Him or do we think have been anointed the one to figure out this path now that The True Anointed One has gotten us started?
It has been my experience that echoes the stories of Scripture that the more we stay in step with the Maker-Messiah the more peaceful our trip, even when we have to weather storms.
But oh, that is so hard for this self-sufficient traveler!
So, I think this is where Maker-Messiah has me -- during this Lenten season -- at a place where I want to have a deeper understanding in my heart of hearts of my sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and the significance of that sacrifice. Oh what deep lessons that will take a life-time to continue to wrap my heart around!
John Piper's The Passion of Jesus Christ: 50 Reasons Why He Came and Died has been a resource I've tried to slowly work through to break down the self-sufficiency of my heart.
I did not Make me or any of my talents and I did not Save me nor do I sanctify myself in any way. Hmmm...that mysterious process of sanctification...I know in my head that it is all because of Christ's work, but my heart lives as if something of the sanctification part of salvation relies on my work..."work out your salvation" says Philippians 2:12. "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," says Philippians 2:13. It's a both and.
Maybe it has something to do with Tim Keller's words in the "Heart: Three Ways to Live" section of "Gospel in Life": "We need to not only repent of the bad things that we do, but we need to repent of the reasons we do good things."
"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." (Proverbs 16:2) Oh, how it seems like even the good things I do and want to do are tainted with impure motives or reasons. Purify me, LORD Jesus, purify me!!!
So maybe if I stay more in step with my Guide on the mountainous trails of life, I will see more clearly the path -- maybe I will want to stay away from the sin that sent Him to be sacrificed and maybe just maybe I will understand more His righteousness that I can receive through the power of His resurrection and maybe when I slip and stumble on the rocks (temptations to sin in thought, word, or action!) of the trail, I will know they were necessary to point me back to my Guide & Savior - the Only One who can & did walk the trail without slipping in order to save us and thus is the Only One I should link arms with as I navigate this Jesus Mountain called "life". It's this truth of the Grace of Christ in the midst of Failure that seems to be the key Lesson of the LORD for me on this path of the Jesus Mountain.
The Jesus Mountain is Glorious no matter which trail you are on - the beginning trail head holds so much Glorious anticipation, the steady climb gives you opportunity to enjoy His Glorious scenery, the rocky terrain & valleys gives you opportunity to cling to the Glorious One into whose Glory you are climbing! Keep hiking fellow traveler! Keep hiking in Him and through Him and for Him (Romans 11:36)!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Lost and Lost
LORD, what is to be my lesson when my children lose things? It would be telling if I had a timer on to testify to the amount of minutes of a day spent looking for things that have wandered from their homes or are homeless and therefore harder to track down. Shoes, gloves, keys, phone, the empty ink cartridge that was set aside to refill...
Today it was the Ernie Elephant Awana patch and the little orange basketball.
I promised DS4 that I would get his Awana patches sewed on before his next Awana meeting - that was two days ago...I got 3 of the 5 sewed on. I asked for forgiveness. Today, I told him as soon as I got ready for the day I would sew those last two patches on right away. The kids were on the bed playing while I was getting ready. They helped themselves to tactiling the thread and patches. When I went to sew them on, Ernie was nowhere to be found. Turnover pillows, under bed, under dresser, out in living room where DD22mo may have re-homed it. Only 4 out of 5 patches sewed on...still...Ernie still lost.
Five pm, long day - DD very fussy, decided on only 1 hr. nap.
Inching past 40 degrees, I decided I could brave the chill and the fresh air would probably do all good. DS wants to go up to the basketball court...and bring our Little Tikes basketball hoop. I say I'll bring the hoop up from the basement and he can carry the ball.
We bundle up and a few minutes later, daddy gets home! Oh, what a blessing, Daddy can take them! He changes, they get ready to go, and ... the little orange basketball is nowhere to be found.
DS was sure he carried it up from downstairs...our house is not that big...there are not that many places for a 7 inch diameter basketball to hide (that's an estimate on the size b/c I can't measure since the ball is still missing!)
Mom does two laps around the house, looks outside front, outside back, garage...DS can't remember where he had it last...
LORD, what is to be my lesson when my children lose things?
It happens to us all and I'm trying to learn to have homes for things - a place for everything and everything in its place - helps the time and emotional drain of searching for things that should be 'right there.' It's one thing when it's your own mindlessness; it's another dimension of feeling futile on the search when you have NO IDEA where the child would have mindlessly dropped "it."
Just found! Basketball in DD's room - I looked there twice!!
(Daddy found Ernie Elephant in his shoe a week later!)
Today it was the Ernie Elephant Awana patch and the little orange basketball.
I promised DS4 that I would get his Awana patches sewed on before his next Awana meeting - that was two days ago...I got 3 of the 5 sewed on. I asked for forgiveness. Today, I told him as soon as I got ready for the day I would sew those last two patches on right away. The kids were on the bed playing while I was getting ready. They helped themselves to tactiling the thread and patches. When I went to sew them on, Ernie was nowhere to be found. Turnover pillows, under bed, under dresser, out in living room where DD22mo may have re-homed it. Only 4 out of 5 patches sewed on...still...Ernie still lost.
Five pm, long day - DD very fussy, decided on only 1 hr. nap.
Inching past 40 degrees, I decided I could brave the chill and the fresh air would probably do all good. DS wants to go up to the basketball court...and bring our Little Tikes basketball hoop. I say I'll bring the hoop up from the basement and he can carry the ball.
We bundle up and a few minutes later, daddy gets home! Oh, what a blessing, Daddy can take them! He changes, they get ready to go, and ... the little orange basketball is nowhere to be found.
DS was sure he carried it up from downstairs...our house is not that big...there are not that many places for a 7 inch diameter basketball to hide (that's an estimate on the size b/c I can't measure since the ball is still missing!)
Mom does two laps around the house, looks outside front, outside back, garage...DS can't remember where he had it last...
LORD, what is to be my lesson when my children lose things?
It happens to us all and I'm trying to learn to have homes for things - a place for everything and everything in its place - helps the time and emotional drain of searching for things that should be 'right there.' It's one thing when it's your own mindlessness; it's another dimension of feeling futile on the search when you have NO IDEA where the child would have mindlessly dropped "it."
Just found! Basketball in DD's room - I looked there twice!!
(Daddy found Ernie Elephant in his shoe a week later!)
Friday, October 28, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 19
Friday, October 28, 2011 - I should have been armed YESTERDAY!
Yesterday has been the most trying day so far regarding things not going "my way". From my almost four year old pooping his pants (for I think the second time ever since he was potty trained a year ago) to him scratching his eczema til it bled (both within 15 minutes of us needing to leave the house) to miscommunications, to fighting the temptation to "argue", to having trouble finding a babysitter, to getting a half hour phone call from a distraught new mom as I'm about to go to bed, all the way to leaning over to kiss my son good night as he decides to sit up and bops me in the mouth giving me a fat lip! That was the straw that broke this camel's back as I was crying from the hurt and crying because I just couldn't handle one more thing not go "right!"
Interestingly enough Tuesday I thought "be prepared for a spiritual attack today, Jill" because Monday night we had had a Teen Mom over for dinner from the ministry we're involved in. I expected the enemy to not be happy with our sharing Christ's love with her and so I was conscious to think that challenges on Tuesday might be the result of a spiritual attack. However, I wasn't thinking about that on Thursday as my personal kingdom of toothpicks played dominoes (even though I had watched her son Wednesday morning when she went to court).
And the enemy sure does know how to "get me" -- it's in the "subtle agenda things".
So, this morning during journal processing time, God helped me get "re-armed" through Ephesians 6:10-18:
Belt of Truth --> secured knowing God is in control, desires good and sanctification, Christ is coming to make all things right.
Breastplate of Righteousness --> protected before God in righteousness of Christ -- my weaknesses, failures, and sins in these times are covered.
Shoes --> I walk in peace because of the gospel in which I believe - though sinful and broken, God's grace reached down and rescued me and continues to deliver me.
Shield of Faith --> My faith is in what is unseen - the powerful, trustworthy arm of God at work and not shaken by the fiery darts of the evil one
Helmet of Salvation --> Over all is the hope that one days Christ WILL come back and take me into His dwelling place where all things go "right" and as they "should be" all the time for all eternity! (These are temporary struggles)
Sword of the Spirit --> Fight back the enemy with God's word...hmmm...wish these had been on the forefront of my mind yesterday:
I have been created in Christ Jesus to accomplish the good works God prepared in advance for me to do. (Ephesians 2:10) (Satan cannot thwart that.)
Jesus invites me to come to Him weary and burdened to take his light and easy yoke (Matthew 11:28-10)
Love is patient... (1 Cor. 13:4) (I am not justified in getting impatient with my son for not staying in step with "My Agenda" when he hasn't done anything wrong! So not worth tempting me there, Satan. Thank you, God, for bringing that to my attention at the time so I wasn't ultimately consumed by "My Agenda" and experienced your grace by ASKING forgiveness of my son.
Pray in the Spirit --> Thank you, LORD, that I was conscious to do this, though maybe not very well. I haven't thought of "prayer" as one of the specific weapons mentioned in the "Spiritual Armor" list, but rather as a "add on"..."and do this" sort of thing. But as I read it this morning, it seemed like it could be a "type of sword"? I wonder if the Greek grammar supports that type of reading?
Keep Alert --> Again, interesting because I would have been alert for this type of attack Tuesday. And when you are expecting it, you can be better prepared. So, of course, the Enemy chose the day I wasn't alert and had more of an agenda.
Perseverance --> Keep enduring on this Fast For Surrender, Jill; even though you've hit a two week slump. Thank you, LORD, for fanning the flame through Ephesians 6.
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Yesterday has been the most trying day so far regarding things not going "my way". From my almost four year old pooping his pants (for I think the second time ever since he was potty trained a year ago) to him scratching his eczema til it bled (both within 15 minutes of us needing to leave the house) to miscommunications, to fighting the temptation to "argue", to having trouble finding a babysitter, to getting a half hour phone call from a distraught new mom as I'm about to go to bed, all the way to leaning over to kiss my son good night as he decides to sit up and bops me in the mouth giving me a fat lip! That was the straw that broke this camel's back as I was crying from the hurt and crying because I just couldn't handle one more thing not go "right!"
Interestingly enough Tuesday I thought "be prepared for a spiritual attack today, Jill" because Monday night we had had a Teen Mom over for dinner from the ministry we're involved in. I expected the enemy to not be happy with our sharing Christ's love with her and so I was conscious to think that challenges on Tuesday might be the result of a spiritual attack. However, I wasn't thinking about that on Thursday as my personal kingdom of toothpicks played dominoes (even though I had watched her son Wednesday morning when she went to court).
And the enemy sure does know how to "get me" -- it's in the "subtle agenda things".
So, this morning during journal processing time, God helped me get "re-armed" through Ephesians 6:10-18:
Belt of Truth --> secured knowing God is in control, desires good and sanctification, Christ is coming to make all things right.
Breastplate of Righteousness --> protected before God in righteousness of Christ -- my weaknesses, failures, and sins in these times are covered.
Shoes --> I walk in peace because of the gospel in which I believe - though sinful and broken, God's grace reached down and rescued me and continues to deliver me.
Shield of Faith --> My faith is in what is unseen - the powerful, trustworthy arm of God at work and not shaken by the fiery darts of the evil one
Helmet of Salvation --> Over all is the hope that one days Christ WILL come back and take me into His dwelling place where all things go "right" and as they "should be" all the time for all eternity! (These are temporary struggles)
Sword of the Spirit --> Fight back the enemy with God's word...hmmm...wish these had been on the forefront of my mind yesterday:
I have been created in Christ Jesus to accomplish the good works God prepared in advance for me to do. (Ephesians 2:10) (Satan cannot thwart that.)
Jesus invites me to come to Him weary and burdened to take his light and easy yoke (Matthew 11:28-10)
Love is patient... (1 Cor. 13:4) (I am not justified in getting impatient with my son for not staying in step with "My Agenda" when he hasn't done anything wrong! So not worth tempting me there, Satan. Thank you, God, for bringing that to my attention at the time so I wasn't ultimately consumed by "My Agenda" and experienced your grace by ASKING forgiveness of my son.
Pray in the Spirit --> Thank you, LORD, that I was conscious to do this, though maybe not very well. I haven't thought of "prayer" as one of the specific weapons mentioned in the "Spiritual Armor" list, but rather as a "add on"..."and do this" sort of thing. But as I read it this morning, it seemed like it could be a "type of sword"? I wonder if the Greek grammar supports that type of reading?
Keep Alert --> Again, interesting because I would have been alert for this type of attack Tuesday. And when you are expecting it, you can be better prepared. So, of course, the Enemy chose the day I wasn't alert and had more of an agenda.
Perseverance --> Keep enduring on this Fast For Surrender, Jill; even though you've hit a two week slump. Thank you, LORD, for fanning the flame through Ephesians 6.
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Friday, October 21, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 12
Friday, October 21, 2011 - Depression
After my break down yesterday morning and the proceeding conversation with God, it still took a bit for my heavy cloud to lift. But my heart was certainly sensitive to what God was doing and saying in my heart and life.
I was walking in to teach swim lessons, knowing that I had to be professional and friendly, though inside I was overwhelmed, heavy, sad (though not as much as earlier that morning!) And God showed me how my tendency is to hold on to my "depression" instead of being quick to 'let it go,' 'lay it at His feet.' I think that in my self-sufficient, independent (prideful), good ol' American "pull yourself up by your boot straps" kind of spirit, just surrendering something like depression to God seems like a "cop out." I "should" deal with it. And where that idea came from, I'd like to know because it's certainly not biblical nor anything I remember being specifically taught.
And then I realized that my way of "dealing with it" is to wait until something happens to lift my depression. (Getting enough things done on "The List" that I don't feel so overwhelmed, something good happening, someone giving me a compliment, getting good time with a friend, etc.) And that mindset is communicating that I am waiting for a circumstance to make me "feel" better instead of trusting the LORD to care for me and putting my hope in His promises - comfort, provision, grace, peace, joy, eternal glory, and the list goes on. I need to learn to have the mindset of Christ (Phil. 2:5). The bible teaches that our hope and joy are rooted in the character and works of God, not based on our feelings! May I surrender that depression quickly!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
After my break down yesterday morning and the proceeding conversation with God, it still took a bit for my heavy cloud to lift. But my heart was certainly sensitive to what God was doing and saying in my heart and life.
I was walking in to teach swim lessons, knowing that I had to be professional and friendly, though inside I was overwhelmed, heavy, sad (though not as much as earlier that morning!) And God showed me how my tendency is to hold on to my "depression" instead of being quick to 'let it go,' 'lay it at His feet.' I think that in my self-sufficient, independent (prideful), good ol' American "pull yourself up by your boot straps" kind of spirit, just surrendering something like depression to God seems like a "cop out." I "should" deal with it. And where that idea came from, I'd like to know because it's certainly not biblical nor anything I remember being specifically taught.
And then I realized that my way of "dealing with it" is to wait until something happens to lift my depression. (Getting enough things done on "The List" that I don't feel so overwhelmed, something good happening, someone giving me a compliment, getting good time with a friend, etc.) And that mindset is communicating that I am waiting for a circumstance to make me "feel" better instead of trusting the LORD to care for me and putting my hope in His promises - comfort, provision, grace, peace, joy, eternal glory, and the list goes on. I need to learn to have the mindset of Christ (Phil. 2:5). The bible teaches that our hope and joy are rooted in the character and works of God, not based on our feelings! May I surrender that depression quickly!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
40 Days of Surrender - Day 10
Wednesday, October 19, 2011 - AHHHHHH!
I don't even know what to title this one. I don't know what lessons the LORD is trying to teach me.
I got a speeding ticket yesterday - going THRITY-SIX miles an hour!!!! No, that's not 36 miles an hour over the speed limit and no it was not in a school zone. It was in a 25 mph speed trap! And to highlight the irony of this whole situation, this is only my second ticket in my 16 years of driving...and the other one was at the EXACT SAME SPOT six years ago! You would think that I would be aware to be extra careful and usually I am but I was coming from a different direction and it is just that much of a speed trap. And so now I am tempted to justify myself. But was it really sin that even qualifies for "justifying"? Yes, by the letter of the law I was breaking the law by driving at a speed higher than the posted speed limit. BUT (justifying?) I was turning from a road that was 35 miles per hour, and the 25 mph zone lasts about 6 houses before it turns into 55 mph...I was driving, not in a hurry, but at the rate natural for that space!
I was quiet before the officer because I figured he gets people trying to weasle their way out of tickets consistently and I wanted to be "set apart"...UNTIL he came back to explain everything to me and said, "OK?" And I started crying and said, "Well, no it's not OK and went on to explain how ridiculous this was but how I understood he was doing his job." Then he left and I bawled.
Why? Because I "failed" or because it was going to be 85 bucks (when money is tight) and 8 hours of a Saturday for STOP class or because of the injustice?
And I don't know WHY God let it happen because I came to the intersection and had to make a quick decision on whether I was going to go to the nicer Wal-Mart to the right or to the older Wal-Mart to the left, which was more on the way home. But I wasn't in a hurry (i.e. not speeding to get somewhere!) so I turned right. And by the way, my errand to Wal-Mart was because our Bible Study brings a meal to a ministry to Teen Moms once a month and I had offered to pick up items for my friend since she had been out of town. So, I got a speeding ticket for not speeding on my way to do a good deed for a needy ministry! I don't get it, God!
I know it's so minor in the scope of things, but the failure/expense/injustice really rocked my world - and I haven't recovered. What lesson am I supposed to learn in this? Am I supposed to surrender something? What?
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
I don't even know what to title this one. I don't know what lessons the LORD is trying to teach me.
I got a speeding ticket yesterday - going THRITY-SIX miles an hour!!!! No, that's not 36 miles an hour over the speed limit and no it was not in a school zone. It was in a 25 mph speed trap! And to highlight the irony of this whole situation, this is only my second ticket in my 16 years of driving...and the other one was at the EXACT SAME SPOT six years ago! You would think that I would be aware to be extra careful and usually I am but I was coming from a different direction and it is just that much of a speed trap. And so now I am tempted to justify myself. But was it really sin that even qualifies for "justifying"? Yes, by the letter of the law I was breaking the law by driving at a speed higher than the posted speed limit. BUT (justifying?) I was turning from a road that was 35 miles per hour, and the 25 mph zone lasts about 6 houses before it turns into 55 mph...I was driving, not in a hurry, but at the rate natural for that space!
I was quiet before the officer because I figured he gets people trying to weasle their way out of tickets consistently and I wanted to be "set apart"...UNTIL he came back to explain everything to me and said, "OK?" And I started crying and said, "Well, no it's not OK and went on to explain how ridiculous this was but how I understood he was doing his job." Then he left and I bawled.
Why? Because I "failed" or because it was going to be 85 bucks (when money is tight) and 8 hours of a Saturday for STOP class or because of the injustice?
And I don't know WHY God let it happen because I came to the intersection and had to make a quick decision on whether I was going to go to the nicer Wal-Mart to the right or to the older Wal-Mart to the left, which was more on the way home. But I wasn't in a hurry (i.e. not speeding to get somewhere!) so I turned right. And by the way, my errand to Wal-Mart was because our Bible Study brings a meal to a ministry to Teen Moms once a month and I had offered to pick up items for my friend since she had been out of town. So, I got a speeding ticket for not speeding on my way to do a good deed for a needy ministry! I don't get it, God!
I know it's so minor in the scope of things, but the failure/expense/injustice really rocked my world - and I haven't recovered. What lesson am I supposed to learn in this? Am I supposed to surrender something? What?
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Monday, September 19, 2011
1 Peter 1:1-12
Black = Me; Blue = Sunday School Teacher, John; Green = Insight from someone else in class
Summary sentence:
"Peter is telling the dispersed that they are elected by the foreknowledge of God the Father to suffer through various trials for the sanctification of their faith in order to obey with holiness and with a joyful hope that their faith will lead to a salvation of a glorious, imperishable inheritance kept in heaven for them."
In short: Obediently suffer with holiness and hope and glorious joy!
Other "neat" insights: (well, neat to me, but that's what this blog is for writing:))
v. 1 - People from 4 of those places were present at Pentecost when Peter spoke, so he probably had previous relationship with them.
"Exile" is term used of Israel, but Peter is speaking to Gentiles (all Roman cities) of the Church. An exile lives in a land opposed to his God and living unholy. Peter is expecting them to live like God expected Israel to live while in exile. Do we feel like we are in exile? How comfortable are we in "this land"?
v. 2 - "foreknowledge"...God foreknew they were going to be exiles. God foreknows our various trials. It was helpful for me to have that perspective when facing my trials.
John asked us to look into the word "sprinkled". I thought that it was just a word connecting to the death of Jesus Christ. But upon further cross referencing, the blood sacrifice sprinkled in Leviticus was to set apart His people. Cleanse from sin in order to be in God's presence! This struck me as it fits with the "Call to Holiness" (See 1 Peter Overview).
The PRIESTS were "sprinkled with blood" for work in the temple (cross reference us being called priests in 1 Peter 2)!
v.4 - I thought putting difference words to describe our inheritance was helpful as we often get read over something we've read a lot without really pondering it. Our inheritance remains forever (imperishable), is holy (undefiled - like we're called to pursue!), and glorious (unfading)!
v. 5 - "Last Time" is a term of present and future. In Old Testament "Last times" started when Messiah appears. So the "last times" starts in Matthew and goes through Christ's second coming. This was a helpful explanation of "last times" for me because I've tended to get tripped up when I've come across that term.
v.6 - "if" in great can be written to assume "yes" or "no". This "if" assumes "yes" it WILL be NECESSARY for you to have trials (not a contingent "if"...if you happen to come across a trial.) The way we will survive suffering is to focus on the future hope. The future propels the Christian from the uncomfortable present because the present is NOT going to be comfortable for the person living in exile.
v. 7 - I have this verse memorized in NIV and I'm studying it in ESV. We were encouraged to read through 1 Peter in different translation and when I read it in NASB I was really struck! NASB reads, "so that the [fn]proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which [fn]is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;" (from www.blueletterbible.com) For some reason, the phrase "proof of your faith" struck me. It occurred to me that HOW I handle "this trial" is proof of my faith. What kind of faith do I have? Does this trial prove that my faith is more focused on myself and my comfort or does this my response to this trial prove that I am trusting God. Does it prove I am worrying about money more than I am putting faith in the faithfulness of God. God has brought that phrase to mind more than the other translations...what I am proving about my faith (and my God) by how I am responding to these inevitable trials!
v.8 - To be continued...
Summary sentence:
"Peter is telling the dispersed that they are elected by the foreknowledge of God the Father to suffer through various trials for the sanctification of their faith in order to obey with holiness and with a joyful hope that their faith will lead to a salvation of a glorious, imperishable inheritance kept in heaven for them."
In short: Obediently suffer with holiness and hope and glorious joy!
Other "neat" insights: (well, neat to me, but that's what this blog is for writing:))
v. 1 - People from 4 of those places were present at Pentecost when Peter spoke, so he probably had previous relationship with them.
"Exile" is term used of Israel, but Peter is speaking to Gentiles (all Roman cities) of the Church. An exile lives in a land opposed to his God and living unholy. Peter is expecting them to live like God expected Israel to live while in exile. Do we feel like we are in exile? How comfortable are we in "this land"?
v. 2 - "foreknowledge"...God foreknew they were going to be exiles. God foreknows our various trials. It was helpful for me to have that perspective when facing my trials.
John asked us to look into the word "sprinkled". I thought that it was just a word connecting to the death of Jesus Christ. But upon further cross referencing, the blood sacrifice sprinkled in Leviticus was to set apart His people. Cleanse from sin in order to be in God's presence! This struck me as it fits with the "Call to Holiness" (See 1 Peter Overview).
The PRIESTS were "sprinkled with blood" for work in the temple (cross reference us being called priests in 1 Peter 2)!
v.4 - I thought putting difference words to describe our inheritance was helpful as we often get read over something we've read a lot without really pondering it. Our inheritance remains forever (imperishable), is holy (undefiled - like we're called to pursue!), and glorious (unfading)!
v. 5 - "Last Time" is a term of present and future. In Old Testament "Last times" started when Messiah appears. So the "last times" starts in Matthew and goes through Christ's second coming. This was a helpful explanation of "last times" for me because I've tended to get tripped up when I've come across that term.
v.6 - "if" in great can be written to assume "yes" or "no". This "if" assumes "yes" it WILL be NECESSARY for you to have trials (not a contingent "if"...if you happen to come across a trial.) The way we will survive suffering is to focus on the future hope. The future propels the Christian from the uncomfortable present because the present is NOT going to be comfortable for the person living in exile.
v. 7 - I have this verse memorized in NIV and I'm studying it in ESV. We were encouraged to read through 1 Peter in different translation and when I read it in NASB I was really struck! NASB reads, "so that the [fn]proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which [fn]is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;" (from www.blueletterbible.com) For some reason, the phrase "proof of your faith" struck me. It occurred to me that HOW I handle "this trial" is proof of my faith. What kind of faith do I have? Does this trial prove that my faith is more focused on myself and my comfort or does this my response to this trial prove that I am trusting God. Does it prove I am worrying about money more than I am putting faith in the faithfulness of God. God has brought that phrase to mind more than the other translations...what I am proving about my faith (and my God) by how I am responding to these inevitable trials!
v.8 - To be continued...
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