"If there was no God..." - Little Learners

I think it was at dinner time on Monday of this week (Feb. 13th, 2011) and DS4 asks, "Can we reach God?"    I don't even know what initiated the question in his little head, it wasn't related to anything that we had been talking about recently.  He's always been into how BIG God is and Fast and Strong and the Best.  And ever since Granny passed away 2 and a half months ago, his concept of heaven and where God is has been developing more.


"Can we reach God?" - How ya gonna field that one, Mom and Dad?


I don't know how to answer it, but I do know Acts 17 talks about reaching God, so I go grab the Bible and read: 

24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27 God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being...’ (Acts 17:24-28a - NIV)


And so I commentate through, explaining to him what each phrase means, slowing down and emphasizing the verse that addresses his question: "God made us so we would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find him, but He's not far from us because He's with us in each breath we take.  So, if He's not far from us and He wants us to seek Him and reach out for Him, does that mean we can reach Him?"


Unaltered by the corruption of "adult-like faith" which is continutally tempted to lean on their own understanding (Prov. 3:6), the faith of the child responds: He can be in our hearts and in heaven!


I am too easily satisfied by the work of the Holy Spirit, for thinking the good little "God-talk" was over, we move on with dinner and a little while later the faith of the child proclaims, 


"If there was no God, there would be no us, there would be no anything!"


"You're right, buddy, you are so right."

Lost and Lost

LORD, what is to be my lesson when my children lose things?  It would be telling if I had a timer on to testify to the amount of minutes of a day spent looking for things that have wandered from their homes or are homeless and therefore harder to track down.  Shoes, gloves, keys, phone, the empty ink cartridge that was set aside to refill...

Today it was the Ernie Elephant Awana patch and the little orange basketball.

I promised DS4 that I would get his Awana patches sewed on before his next Awana meeting - that was two days ago...I got 3 of the 5 sewed on.  I asked for forgiveness.  Today, I told him as soon as I got ready for the day I would sew those last two patches on right away.  The kids were on the bed playing while I was getting ready.  They helped themselves to tactiling the thread and patches.  When I went to sew them on, Ernie was nowhere to be found.  Turnover pillows, under bed, under dresser, out in living room where DD22mo may have re-homed it.  Only 4 out of 5 patches sewed on...still...Ernie still lost.

Five pm, long day - DD very fussy, decided on only 1 hr. nap.

Inching past 40 degrees, I decided I could brave the chill and the fresh air would probably do all good. DS wants to go up to the basketball court...and bring our Little Tikes basketball hoop.  I say I'll bring the hoop up from the basement and he can carry the ball.

We bundle up and a few minutes later, daddy gets home!  Oh, what a blessing, Daddy can take them!  He changes, they get ready to go, and ... the little orange basketball is nowhere to be found.

DS was sure he carried it up from downstairs...our house is not that big...there are not that many places for a 7 inch diameter basketball to hide (that's an estimate on the size b/c I can't measure since the ball is still missing!)

Mom does two laps around the house, looks outside front, outside back, garage...DS can't remember where he had it last...

LORD, what is to be my lesson when my children lose things? 

It happens to us all and I'm trying to learn to have homes for things - a place for everything and everything in its place - helps the time and emotional drain of searching for things that should be 'right there.'  It's one thing when it's your own mindlessness; it's another dimension of feeling futile on the search when you have NO IDEA where the child would have mindlessly dropped "it."

Just found!  Basketball in DD's room - I looked there twice!!

(Daddy found Ernie Elephant in his shoe a week later!)

New Insight (for me:)) into Spiritual Gifts & Serving

I really hope this doesn't sound "anti-serving" or anything of the sort.  This was a freeing lesson for me, so maybe you put your own gifts or callings in place of mine or maybe you had this figured out already...


One of the spiritual gifts that shows up when I take a "spiritual gifts test" is the gift of teaching.  I feel a sense of energy when I have the opportunity to use that gifting and receive affirmation when used also.  It is my understanding that those two aspects can be confirmation of gifting, so for the purpose of this post I will claim the spiritual gift of teaching (and no level of quality is pronounced in that claim:)).  In fact, last week I had an opportunity to teach on "Heart Needs" in which I used material from a recent post and I had to humbly cling to the  LORD as the enemy plagued me with doubt after my message - a good exercise in not looking for man's approval and trusting that God was still choosing to speak this message through me. (1 Cor. 2:4-6)


Anyway, the passages on Spiritual Gifts (Romans 12:3 ff, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4:7ff make it clear that some have the gift of teaching, some the gift of serving, etc.  And yet there is also a calling in scripture to all Christ's followers to serve as He did, right? 

"Have this mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who...taking the form of a servant..." (Philippians 2: 5-7)


"...But whoever would be great among you must be your servant..." (Matthew 20:26ff)


"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." (Galatians 5:13)


This message in scripture (then presented in the form of messages from the "pulpit" through my college ministry years and beyond) have left me with the belief that I should be serving in sacrificial ways as Christ did.  Which I think is true, but I also am realizing that what I have internalized is that "to serve" means to help the church with all those "hands on needs."  I have been so impressed with people that seem to serve the church tirelessly and realized that I carry a weight of guilt that I don't feel like I serve as much as I should.  I have looked at the women a stage or so ahead of me in life as an inspirational model to be like one day and given myself grace that I'm in a stage of life that demands a great deal of my time and energy with two young, highly dependent children.  But then I look at the women in my stage of life - specifically the two with one or two more young children than I have and both homeschool and yet still seem to on the front lines of serving the church.  I spent a weekend fighting the burden of comparison - such an ugly, godless activity.  And yes, I can know the truth that I am not to compare and try to dwell on that truth, but it was my reading of Acts 13:1-4 that brought this new insight and the sense of freedom...


Barnabus and Saul were set apart by the Holy Spirit for the work to which He had called them.  Also, I was reminded that in Acts 6 those disciples preaching the word appointed 7 men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom (honorable description, not lesser because not preachers) to serve the physical needs of people.  Yet, those who preached, preached as God opened doors for them and those who preached, served physical needs of people as God opened doors for them - yet they were called to spend a majority of their time and energy preaching and therefore God opened more doors for those opportunities He wanted them to be faithful with.  Priscilla and Aquila were a neat example to me of this in Acts 18.  They were tentmakers by professional (their vocational calling-where they spent a majority of their time & energy) who served Paul by opening their home to him (fulfilled the need of hospitality as God opened that door) and then taught Apollos The Way more accurately (as God opened that door). 


As I have been wrestling with my calling (of being a wife and mother) and my gifting (teaching) and my duty? to serve the church, my God Whispers had repeatedly been something like "be faithful with the little or big task I am asking of you in the here and now.  That is serving Me in faith.  I will open doors for you to serve Me - serve in the form of teaching, serving in the form of hospitality, serving by mercy, OR even an open door to serve Me with those 'hands on service opportunities' by setting up tables and chairs or helping with food for a church gathering."  


So, I am NOT at all saying only those with the "gift of serving" should serve the church, just as not only those with the "gift of hospitality" should be hospitable (Romans 12:13). I think what I'm learning is that the call to serve means to serve with the "grace given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift" (Eph. 4:7).  I may have that grace in a larger measure for teaching and the grace in a smaller measure for serving, hospitality, mercy, exhortation, etc.  


For me, who wants to be a good servant, is learning the blessing of saying, "No" and living within my God-given capacity, and who does like to be helpful, this lesson from the LORD was a refreshing one of freedom.  I am just asked to seek the LORD for what He wants me to do and be faithful to that and not follow some imagined, phantom "scripture perscribed" servant.  My being a faithful servant of the LORD (and specifically being faithful in serving the church) doesn't always have to be the front lines help I see my friends doing.  Maybe they are called to that and maybe they are in the process of learning the calling vs. the duty of serving? I have seen people burn themselves out by trying to do it all to a great measure - hospitality, serving, giving, teaching, exhorting, leading, shepherding.  And I have seen people hurt because they expect those in leadership to be doing these all to a great measure.  And I have seen people wear the burden of failure because they aren't all these things.


I am faithful if I take time and energy and obediently write a letter of encouragement that the Holy Spirit is prompting me to or take the time to really listen to and give someone biblical counsel or go out of my way to generously giving in order to meet a physical need.  I'm not being faithful to God's working in my heart if I'm comparing myself to people, nor shall others compare themselves to my opportunities "to teach" (public or private) or whatever other spiritual gift I may be living out in whatever measure of grace I have.  Am I responding to God's promptings with the measure of grace, time, and energy He is providing?  


"Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord." (Romans 12:11)
"Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord. (Colossians 3:23)
"to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ," (Ephesians 4:12)  To serve the church = to build up the church (body of Christ).


Serving the Lord means serving the Church and serving the Church better be done with a heart attitude of serving the Lord. And serving the Church sometimes means serving the hands on "kitchen duty" needs of the church, but serving the Church should always mean building up the Body of Christ.


What am I doing, what are you doing to serve the Church; what are we doing to build up the Church - each day, on a regular basis, according to each God prompting!?!  To be faithful to this IS being a faithful servant of God's spiritual gifts, all in His grace.

Heart Needs - Of Children and Those Who Once Were

You know the scene: the gaggle of middle schoolers – the leader girl in hot pink sweat pants, the geeky guy trying to be a part of the crowd.  I was kicking with my kick board in the lap pool at the YMCA which has big open windows looking into the hallway that connects the Y to the middle school.  It was right after school got out so those adolescents were being as most are à please, notice me; help shape my identity; I’m cool, right!?!

As I thought back on my 11^th through 14^th years and remember those questions and longings and associated wounds, I wondered “How can I help parent my children through that rough season?”  “What is it that makes or breaks kids at that stage in life?”

As I pondered, the LORD brought some thoughts to mind.  As a psychology major I like to think about these things.  What came out ended up being four needs that God has wired into all of us, I believe.  There are surely more researched conclusions with PhD behind them, but this is what I’m working with for now:

1                            1)  Feel secure in relationship of love with those important and consistent in my life (parent, siblings, God, friends, other family members)

                2) Feel valued: Who I am is good, I am liked.  This is accomplished by being listened to, understood, cared about, having thoughts & feelings & best interest considered

               3)     Feel connected to a community, a sense of belonging (with family, friend, church, extra- curricular group)

               4)    Feel a sense of worth: I can be successful at something; I am an asset somewhere; I have something to offer God’s economy.

Each need is based on feeling.  I have heard that “children are great observers, but poor interpreters.” I understand that children begin life interpreting through their feelings so whether they are loved or not isn’t as important as whether they feel loved.  Maybe Uncle Joe is a consistent person in their life but they don’t feel secure love in that relationship; that may be affecting the child more than anyone is aware.  Maybe they know God is supposed to be an important part of life, but they don’t feel that.  A child may need help navigating through these parts of life and need to have a secure relationship of love to assist in that.  That first need is so foundational to how the others will unfold.  Needs #1 and #2 are primarily being fostered in the elementary years.  In those middle school years is when needs #2 and #3 need more nurturing, but needs #1 and #2 best already be well established.  As the child is growing into an adult in the high school and college years, there is the greater need for needs #3 and #4 to be experienced.  Much of what they have already determined about themselves and the world they live in  and how they are going to go about getting them met from here on out is largely based on how the needs have be met or unmet thus far.

As those needs go unfulfilled, children (actually we all) seek in desperate ways to have those legitimate, God-given needs met.  Unless those needs are met in the ways that God intends, the seeking will lead to unhealthy lifestyle patterns – whether it be private habits such as eating disorders, cutting, depression or group activities in hopes to find that community to belong to and have something in common with in the form of drugs, gangs, or other unhealthy relationships.  With the backdrop of these needs unmet, it is easier for me to see and sympathize with those who stumble into such situations.  To take it a step further, even patterns such as people pleasing, performance based acceptance, fashion, athletics, pride…are unhealthy (meaning ways God did not ordain) sources of striving to have needs met.  I think this is related to when God said in Jeremiah "They have forsaken me as the spring of living water and have made for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that do not hold water."  We try to gain love, value, community, & worth in means that God intended to be the only one to fill with the never-ending spring of love, value, community, & worth found in Him and His God-given gifts. (James 1:17)

If the foundation of a secure relationship is missing, it is going to be harder for that child to feel valued.  If the community of family is broken or dysfunctional, that need is going to be sought elsewhere (sometimes to the dismay of the parent(s)).  If there are not safe relationships and community where the child feels valued, where are they going to receive the affirmation and encouragement needed to pursue talents, skills, strengths, interests in order to begin developing as productive citizen who feels like they are an asset with something to offer (whether that be a positive personality trait (your compassion would make a great nurse) or a specific skill (you have great writing/math/teaching/athletic skills)).  I would argue that the more solidly and in a healthy, God-given manner these needs are nourished, the more emotionally healthy and mature we become; on the contrary, emotional stagnation occurs as these needs go unmet and seek unhealthy fulfillment.

So how do we play a part in loving, proclaiming value, fostering community, and investing in the assets of the young people (or really anyone) in our lives or who cross our paths?  To those in close/consistent relationship to you: confirm a secure relationship of love.  To anyone(the checkout cashier, the janitor, the homeless person you give a sack of food to): communicate their God-given value and need to be validated by listening, caring, being considerate of them, seeking to understand them, expressing evidence that you like them, they are ‘very good.’  To those is your community (your family, church, any group you’re a part of): extend Christian hospitality, a sense of belonging (none of that clichy stuff that causes feelings of exclusion!)  To those you are working with in a setting of ‘skills’(physical or characteristics): Teacher (Sunday School or otherwise), parent, boss, etc. – Praising work/attitude done in excellence (not perfection, but someone working to the best of their abilities – you can praise an elementary student or a handicapped child for their efforts of excellence, even if it’s not a ‘perfect’ presentation; affirming talents/strengths you witness; acknowledging gifts of God and His kingdom, as appropriate.

Beauty to Ashes

Friday evening…sweet, sweet evening with women at church.  Delicious food, even better conversation, with one woman in particular, and awesome missionary stories of the work of our magnificent God!

Sunday morning…attack from the enemy.  But, oh beauty from ashes, beauty from ashes!  The ashen grey of my heart – burned from husband hurt, burned from my heart’s wondering around the sanctuary and comparing to other women…women who serve the church, women who serve better than me; women my same age, with one or two more children than I have, who have even more responsibility than I do as their time demands the homeschooling of those children.  Song sung (Lead Me, by Sanctus Real); tears roll and a visit to the bathroom cleanses, especially when a deacon’s wife pursues me and listens and speaks words of mercy…beauty from ashes.   Later than evening more beauty from ashes …Husband shares that the song ministered to him as well.  A brokenness that leads to a break-through in our seven year marriage…beauty from ashes, beauty from ashes!

Monday morning…what does serving the church really look like in Scripture?  I fall into the temptation of comparing myself to other women who are serving the church when in actuality – rather in faith – I should look to Scripture as my model and the LORD as my Guide. 

Even when we read Scripture we could easily get a warped perspective because at first read it appears that the followers of Christ are always preaching, teaching, and performing signs and wonders in His name.  But chronologically (as I was reading through Acts), all this ministry was done by several different disciples over an extended period of time.  And fittingly, God had recorded in His scriptures mainly His works.  We don’t get a lot of other details about what the lives of the followers of Jesus entailed.  Simple realization, but realizing that gave me a freedom that my ministry did not have to be a continual overt word and deed proclaiming the glory of God.  A confirmation that my day in and day out words and deeds ARE my ministry, not just the overt “God talks” and “God works”.  There is no recording of each disciple having a continual act of serving the Church, thus scripture does not call me to have a continual hands on service to the church.  Some are called to more service and some are called to more teaching and some don’t have either call, so why do I compare myself to something the LORD is not calling me to?  I am not called to “be like her;” I am called to “be like Him”...be like Him in character and do as God Guides me to do, not as God (may or may not have) guided her to do.

Morethoughts regarding this/Spiritual Gifts of the Body HERE

Surrender Productivity, Refreshed!

Surrender Productivity, Refreshed!

See Here for Part 1

As I noted in part one I have "surrendered productivity" in the past (more than once).  Yesterday and today the LORD gave me a refreshed perspective.  Part 1 explains mainly yesterday's insight.  Today I started by wondering what Peter intended the difference to be between Holiness and Godliness.

I didn't do much cross referencing, but what I've landed on temporarily is that the context in 2 Peter 3 is that God is patient that none should perish, but all should come to repentance (a position of holiness before God) and that our conduct should be holy (godliness before others!?!)  He exhorts his readers to "be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure..." (2 Pet. 1:10, our relationship with God, internal assurance) and that if the qualities of godliness are yours and are increasing they will keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Pet. 1:3-8, our relationship with God displayed to others).  So, with that calling a little more settled, I am brought back to our calling in Genesis 1 to rule, subdue, and produce...

That's a catchy little phrase, but what exactly is The Calling of Genesis 1!?!

Found in Genesis 1:28, the ESV reads:

"And God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'"

First of all, I notice that "God blessed them."  This calling is a blessing; I should not feel burdened, burdened by producing.  I see the word "subdue"; OK, we are called to subdue.  "Have dominion" - that is probably where the "rule" word comes from.  Now, how about that "produce" word; the one that seems to especially trip me up?  I don't see it.  I do see "be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth".  Fruitful, multiply, and fill - those are words of producing.  BUT, what is their context?  God made people in His image...MAKE more PEOPLE (be fruitful, multiply) to FILL the earth with MORE of MY IMAGE.  Be used BY ME to PRODUCE more OF ME in this world!  PRODUCE GODLINESS!!!!!  NOT produce cleaner homes, smaller paperwork piles, and less laundry, clutter, fill in the blank!!!!  My heart and mind have been confused.  Once again, the crafty serpent has deceived a woman by twisting the words of God! 

To her credit, I know that author of the bible study that gave me the catchy phrase that enemy has used to corrupt my thinking would be sad to know that.  I believe she desires to correctly handle the word of truth.  The way I learned it does not mean she taught it out of that context.  I also know that in her bible study sought to be sensitive to women who were not married or could not have children and therefore could not "be fruitful and multiply" as was intended by God in that context.  I do agree with her that you are still able to multiply God's image and fill the earth with it through women you disciple and through how you live and encourage others to live a life of holiness (purity before God) and godliness (purity before others - bearing HIS IMAGE!)  So, I think it can be a BOTH/AND.

I also want to put a disclaimer that I don't think that means we should let our homes go to chaos.  God is a God of order and I believe it honors Him and our families when we are making progress toward order.  Because of The Fall our "order" is always going to be unraveling (as the Order of Creation has been unraveling since The Fall).  I believe it is part of faithful homemaking to fight for the order that the chaos pushes to hinder; I am just expressing that I am thankful that I feel a little more released from that idol that threatens to consume me.  

May I live out the freedom of our calling to holiness and godliness!!!

Surrender Productivity Refreshed (and some Selahs, too!)

40 Days of Surrender - Day 100 - Surrender Productivity
Year of Selah - *Holiness, Godliness*

Ironically, today is 100 days after I committed to a 40 day fast of surrendering sinful habits in my life (arguing, depression, self-sufficiency, perfectionism, harsh tongue, etc, etc.)

Today, actually it was yesterday, (see other post for "Today's Lesson") the LORD opened a door for a refreshed surrender of productivity in my heart (and hopefully it will become a habit in my life!)  Productivity is an idol that I have had identified for a few years now.  And as the battle of the flesh and spirit works (my spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak - Mt. 26:41; cf. Gal. 5:16,17), I've taken two steps forward, one step back for a lot of those years.  And yesterday was a new chiseling in my heart and breaking away of a thought process that has been justifying my bending the knee to the temptation of productivity so many times.

You see, I learned in a (respectable) bible study back in 2002 that God calls us to "Rule, subdue, and produce".   I was in 2 Peter 3:11-13 yesterday when I was struck - "we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells".  And Peter exhorts his readers: "...what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness...."  Righteousness, holiness, godliness...this is so much the message of Peter in both his letters as well as an apparent goal THROUGHOUT SCRIPTURE!!!  Why then does my mind/heart so quickly seek to "rule (have the authority/have "The Say"), subdue (have control), and produce (be productive, accomplish)"!?!  Are we really called to that; how does holiness and godliness fit into the goals of ruling, subduing, and producing that often lead to my sinful expressions of pride, control, and "fulfillment" through "doing"?

This is what I was able to articulate yesterday:

Rule, Subdue, Produce --> God's instructional goals in Genesis 1 PRIOR TO THE FALL


Now living POST FALL, we need to FIGHT FOR that COMMUNION WITH GOD we automatically had with Him in The Garden, PRIOR to THE FALL.


It seems accurate to say "Rule, Subdue, Produce" is now trumped by (not having replaced, but is more of a priority): Submit (to God's Authority as our fleshly nature now strives for self-sufficiency), Surrender (Giving up the striving to be in control, the striving to be God (Eve's ultimate sin!)), Be Sanctified (Add to Faith, Virtue (2 Peter 1:5); Be holy (1 Peter 1:14-16); allow God to make you look more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18; Eph. 4:22-24).

So, thankfully, the LORD brought to mind a few times yesterday the goal of "holiness and godliness" over my current innate goal for productivity (especially during this time that I am overwhelmed by downsizing to prepare for my father-in-law to move in).  Not a perfect day, but I think a successful one - One in which God might say, "Well done, my faithful daughter.  I'm proud of you for remembering that your heart attitude and your tone with your children and husband and staying communed with Me and them is more important than getting irritated that the laundry is not put away in a week, the paperwork pile is still full, and the dust on the tops and the crumbs on the floor are painfully obvious."

And that is a faithfulness to my Year of Selah as well!  Pausing and reflecting on things above; not being swept away my the overwhelmingness of the things on earth.


Thank you, LORD Jesus, Thank YOU.


Conclusion of Part 1
See Here for Part 2