40 Days of Surrender - Day 12

Friday, October 21, 2011 - Depression

After my break down yesterday morning and the proceeding conversation with God, it still took a bit for my heavy cloud to lift.  But my heart was certainly sensitive to what God was doing and saying in my heart and life.

I was walking in to teach swim lessons, knowing that I had to be professional and friendly, though inside I was overwhelmed, heavy, sad (though not as much as earlier that morning!)  And God showed me how my tendency is to hold on to my "depression" instead of being quick to 'let it go,' 'lay it at His feet.'  I think that in my self-sufficient, independent (prideful), good ol' American "pull yourself up by your boot straps" kind of spirit, just surrendering something like depression to God seems like a "cop out."  I "should" deal with it.  And where that idea came from, I'd like to know because it's certainly not biblical nor anything I remember being specifically taught.

And then I realized that my way of "dealing with it" is to wait until something happens to lift my depression.  (Getting enough things done on "The List" that I don't feel so overwhelmed, something good happening, someone giving me a compliment, getting good time with a friend, etc.)  And that mindset is communicating that I am waiting for a circumstance to make me "feel" better instead of trusting the LORD to care for me and putting my hope in His promises - comfort, provision, grace, peace, joy, eternal glory, and the list goes on.  I need to learn to have the mindset of Christ (Phil. 2:5).  The bible teaches that our hope and joy are rooted in the character and works of God, not based on our feelings!  May I surrender that depression quickly!


For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.