I sensed that drive to be free from this "thorn in my flesh." And I realized that it's not even that I am anxious for the "process" to be done, which is a step in itself for me as I am usually looking for the end of the journey instead of being content IN THE MIDST of the Journey.
What I noticed in my drive to be FREE was not by striving for the end of the process as much as looking forward to the comfort and benefit it will be for ME and in MY life when God uses this fast of surrender to graciously break me from this ugly addiction. And in that itself I was convicted of how my perspective is so caught up in MySELF. (Which is the root of this whole surrender!) I DO want this brokenness to be for God's glory, but if I am honest my main motive is for MY good.
Reading 1 Peter 3:1-12 this morning for Bible Study...
"so they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives"
"quiet and gentle spirit"
May
May THAT be my motive!
It's not just worthy to surrender in my own life, but it's worthy for Christ's eternal Kingdom.
LORD, please be molding my heart so that its motive is more and more FOR YOUR GLORY!
For a list of all the daily lesson titles in the 40 Days of Surrender in one place, Click Here.
Interesting ideas... it's amazing how God wires us differently. The same process that so easily led you to realize you were valuing your own life above God's glory is the same process that would led me to paralysis because I struggle to come to a conclusion in such situations. You did some processing and were able to make a conclusion. My processing often leads to more processing (which gets more minute as it goes). In any event, I'm glad you know this and can pray for a heart made to want the things He wants.
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